


Who Did This Crap

by loseyourself99



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-01-02 20:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 21,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21167240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loseyourself99/pseuds/loseyourself99
Summary: The class gets bored and decides to channel their frustrations and issues into a chat room. This story will follow their lives at school before the despair.





	1. Chapter 1

Chat Created

**1pm**

**[Leon adds Sayaka, Mondo, Makoto, and 12 others] **

**Leon:** Guys please help I’m dying

**Sayaka:** Why are you being dramatic

**Hifumi: **What exactly do you expect us to do about it Mr. Kuwata

**Leon:** Save me from boredom

**Makoto:** Wait aren’t you in a class right now

**Leon:** That’s why I need to be saved

**Mondo:** HEY ASSHOLE

**Sayaka:** … Is he angry or just saying hi

**Celeste:** One can never be too sure

**Taka:** MONDO watch your language cursing is unbecoming of a student. And LEON you should not be texting while in class.

**Byakuya:** Who told you were allowed to put me in this chat

[Junko changes 16 names]

**Douchebag:** Wow we haven’t even been in this chat for 5 minutes and the names have already been changed

**Douchebag:** WAIT WHY AM I DOUCHEBAG

**Douchebag:** Everyone say your name =(

**Douchebag:** We can complain when we’re done

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Aoi

**PissAnt:** Makoto

**RepulsiveCreature:** Hifumi

**PrincessClueless:** Sayaka

**Smol Girl:** Chihiro

**Card Demon:** Celeste

**YesSir!!:** Taka

**Rich Peasant:** I don’t know why I’m doing this but Byakuya

**HercuWoman:** Sakura

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Hiro at your service

**Less Attractive SiS:** Mukuro

**Cant Believe Its Not Butter:** Mondo

**No I’m not Cold:** T-T-Toko

**Gloves In The Summer:** Kyoko

**Psycho Bitch:** Junko

**Psycho Bitch**: I did good right!!

**Rich Peasant:** My name doesn’t even make sense

**Card Demon:** I have a feeling it’s the fact that we all think that your actions make you a peasant.

**Rich Peasant:** Shut up you’re not even worth my time

**PissAnt:** C’Mon Junko can’t I get a better name please

**Douchebag:** I CAN’T CHANGE MY NAME

**Psycho Bitch:** Oh, did I mention I locked it

**Psycho Bitch:** It’d be really annoying if everyone kept changing their names non-stop

**5pm**

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** So how was everyone’s day

**Douchebag:** Well I hate to admit it but the name situation that Junko made gave me a good laugh and I got kicked out of class

**Psycho Bitch:** You’re welcome

**YesSir!!:** You should not be celebrating getting kicked out of class I am coming to you immediately and you are going to write an apology to your teacher

**Douchebag:** You gotta catch me first

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Hello anyone else here

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Aww

**Cant Believe Its Not Butter:** Is there any reason why Taka is banging on Leon’s door.

**Less Attractive SiS:** Why do you wish it was your door

**Psycho Bitch:** Yeah you jelly

**Cant Believe Its Not Butter:** What the hell is that supposed to mean

**Repulsive Creature:** I believe they are trying to say that you favor same gender interaction Mr. Oowada

**Cant Believe Its Not Butter:** Huh?

**HercuWoman:** I believe they are calling you homosexual

**Cant Believe Its Not Butter:** WHAT THE SHIT

**Cant Believe Its Not Butter:** I’m outa here bitches

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** I’m glad I decided to start this up again

**HercuWoman:** You should not enjoy the misfortunes of other lest you get them yourself

**Psycho Bitch:** Oh, Sakura you’re always so formal and stuffy lighten up a bit

**Princess Clueless:** Don’t be mean Junko

**Psycho Bitch:** Makoto come get your girlfriend

**PissAnt:** She is not my girlfriend, we’re just friends

**Princess Clueless:** Yeah

**Princess Clueless:** He likes Kyoko anyway

**Princess Clueless:** Oops

**PissAnt:** Sayaka what did you do

**Gloves In The Summer:** What did I just read

**PissAnt:** Gotta go

**[Psycho Bitch changes PissAnt’s name to InnocentVirgin]**

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Time for dinner, Sakura want to come

**HercuWoman: **Sure

Less Attractive SiS: May I come

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Sure

**2 AM**

**Rich Peasant:** Everyone Awaken this instance

**Rich Peasant:** I Said This Instant

**Douchebag:** *yawn* What

**Smol Girl: **I wasn’t sleeping

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** What’s wrong my guy

**Rich Peasant:** Someone stole my underwear from my dorm room

**HercuWoman:** I’m sorry what

**Psycho Bitch:** What’s this we have a panty thief on the loose

**Rich Peasant:** I do not wear panties… but it will appear so

Gloves In The Summer: Tell me everything I will find the culprit

**Rich Peasant:** I was in the library researching for my project and I took a shower in my room and noticed there were no underwear

**Repulsive Creature:** I don’t understand your dilemma since I don’t wear underoos

**Douchebag:** …

**Princess Clueless:** …

**Psycho Bitch:** I’m gonna ignore that fact for now… back to Byakuya

**Innocent Virgin:** Hold on let me catch up

**Innocent Virgin:** Really another name change and missing underwear

**Gloves In The Summer:** Makoto

**Innocent Virgin:** Sorry gotta go my mom’s calling

**Card Demon:** Why would his mom be calling him at 2 in the morning

**YesSir!!:** Where do I start with all of this

**YesSir!!:** First we should not be up so late, so I’ll be reporting all involved in the morning. Second, stealing is unacceptable. And lastly Hifumi it is unbecoming not to wear underwear.

**HercuWoman:** Let us reconvene during break period

**10am**

**No I’m Not Cold:** W-w-who took Togami’s precious underwear

**Innocent Virgin:** That’s funny I was gonna ask you why you did it

**No I’m Not Cold:** I-I am n-not good e-enough to touch the precious un-underwear of someone so great

**HercuWoman:** It seems a little strange for you to call them precious

** Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** I’m gonna have to agree

**Douchebag:** Same

**Rich Peasant:** Did you find anything Kyoko

**Gloves In The Summer:** Yes after going through the entrance logs there were only 6 people who could’ve done it

**Gloves In The Summer:** Mondo, Hifumi, Sakura, Mukuro, Makoto, and Celeste

**Gloves In The Summer:** Sakura responded first to your message so that makes me think that she was with you in the library.

**Rich Peasant:** She’s my project partner

**HercuWoman:** It’s true, I got back to my room and saw the offending message

**YesSir!!:** Mondo is innocent, he would never do something like that

**Cant Believe Its Not Butter:** I didn’t do shit

Psycho Bitch: Guys it was so obviously Makoto

**HecuWoman:** Please enlighten us

**Gloves In The Summer:** I would like to see of your guess is as good as my truth filled deduction

**Psycho Bitch:** Hifumi is a weirdo but he has no interest in men or actual humans

**Psycho Bitch:** Mondo is obviously gay, and he was in Taka’s room

**Psycho Bitch:** Mukuro is kinda like Sakura she doesn’t know how to cut loose and have fun so it wasn’t her.

**Psycho Bitch:** And Celeste is has no interest in being a panty thief if it’s not profitable.

**Card Demon:** True

**Psycho Bitch:** So ding ding ding Makoto is the culprit


	2. Getting Exposed

**1:30 PM**

**Innocent Virgin:** How can you say that I’m the culprit

**Innocent Virgin:** I was just minding my business in class and come out to see this

**Innocent Virgin:** What would I do with Togami’s underwear

**Rich Peasant:** Sell them in order to better your financial standing

**Card Demon:** Are your underwear really worth that much money

**Douchebag:** You are not as important as you think you are dude

**Rich Peasant:** I resent that

**No I’m Not Cold:** D-d-don’t talk to him like t-t-that

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** I have to admit that doesn’t sound like a Makoto motive

**Dizzy Clairvoyant: **Maybe Kyoko was wrong about the suspects

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Maybe it was aliens

**Douchebag:** …

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** …

**Gloves In The Summer:** …

**Gloves In The Summer: **I don’t know why I thought you would say something intelligent

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Come on now hear me out they beam into his room and take the underwear and beam out

**HercuWoman: **I’m not sure that is the case

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** C’mon Ogre don’t do me like that

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Stop calling her that you high school reject

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Are you serious…have you seen her

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** It’s like looking at a full-grown monster

**HercuWoman:** …

**HercuWoman:** I’ll go now

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Sakura wait

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** I’m gonna destroy you Hiro you hurt Sakura’s feelings

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Now back to what I was saying about aliens

**Dizzy Clairvoyant: **AAAHHH guys help Hina’s at my dorm room trying to get in

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** I’m going out the window

**Rich Peasant:** Why would you say that you imbecile

**Psycho Bitch:** You guys are a mess

**Douchebag:** Look who’s talking

**Princess Clueless:** I found your underwear Byakuya

**Less Attractive SiS:** Me 2

**YesSir!!: **I demand to know who’s responsible for this

**Innocent Virgin:** Togami all your underwear are hanging from the flag pole

**Psycho Bitch:** Damn son

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** NICE UNDERWEAR BITCH

**YesSir!!:** MONDO that is not appropriate language and though we do not know who is responsible Byakuya please retrieve your underwear from the flagpole it is disruptive to school life

**Psycho Bitch:** I will go ahead and claim responsibility for this little bit of despair

**Psycho Bitch:** I made Makoto do it I told him I’d help him with his Kyoko crush

**Psycho Bitch:** And before you say anything Taka there is no rule that specifies that you can’t take underwear and hang them from the flagpole look it up

**YesSir!!:** I will do so immediately… IMMEDIATELY

**7 pm**

**Rich Peasant:** If anyone goes near my room tonight, I will personally see to it that your parents will be forced to work in a coal mine

**Douchebag:** Whatever dude

**Princess Clueless: **that’s harsh

**Psycho Bitch:** That sounds like it will bring a great amount of trauma…do it anyway

**Rich Peasant:** Don’t tempt me

**YesSir!!:** I JUST SAW SOMETHING UNTHINKABLE

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** calm down and tell us what’s going on

**Psycho Bitch:** All ears

**Innocent Virgin:** What’s up

**Gloves In The Summer:** I too would like to know

**Innocent Virgin:** Hi Kyoko

**Gloves In The Summer:** Oh you’re not running away now

**Douchebag:** Harsh

**Gloves In The Summer:** Surprised your not stealing underwear to get my attention

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** Taka was talking you ASSHOLES don’t interrupt him or I will destroy you

**Douchebag:** ...

**Innocent Virgin:** …

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** Go on bro

**YesSir!!:** I went to the locker room in front of the gym so I could work out and I saw Chihiro go into the boys locker room

**HercuWoman: **Is that the truth

**Psycho Bitch:** Little Chihiro was trying to sneak a peak

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** I find that really hard to believe there has to be a reasonable explanation

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** …

**YesSir!!:** I though the same as well Hina…I went to see what was wrong and when I looked in the locker room, she was getting undressed and she had…

**YesSir!!:** …man parts

**Innocent Virgin:** …

**Douchebag:** …

**HercuWoman:** …

**Gloves In The Summer:** …

**Princess Clueless:** WHAT!!!

**Repulsive Creature:** This is an interesting development for something that isn’t of the 2D variety

**Psycho Bitch:** He’s actually right for once

**No I’m Not Cold:** S-s-she’s a b-b-boy

**HercuWoman:** Are you sure of this

**YesSir!!:** Affirmative

**YesSir!!:** I’m familiar with man parts…since I have them

**Smol Girl:** I can explain

**Psycho Bitch:** Cross dressing is nothing to explain frankly it’s a little boring

**Smol Girl:** …

**HercuWoman:** Please say what you were going to say Chihiro

**Smol Girl:** I’ve never been good at being a boy everyone always made fun of me.

**Smol Girl:** So, I thought it would be easier to just be a girl in appearance and no one ever made fun of me again

**Smol Girl:** Sorry for deceiving you, if you want me to go I will

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** No one wants you to leave and if they do I’ll flatten their heads

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** There’s nothing wrong with that we all have some things we are insecure about

**Psycho Bitch:** Like Mondo’s gayness

**Less Attractive SiS:** Or Makoto’s crush on Kyoko

**Douchebag: **Also, Hifumi’s fear of real women

**Repulsive Creature:** I told you that in confidence Mr. Kuwata

**Repulsive Creature:** Mr. Kuwata once peeped in the girl locker room and I would like to add his pants were down

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** He did WHAT!!

**HercuWoaman:** You Cretin

**Psycho Bitch:** Are we going to ignore the fact that his pants were down while he was doing it

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** EWW don’t talk about it, you’re disgusting Leon

**Douchebag:** How could you Hifumi, they’re gonna murder me now

**Card Demon:** Damn Straight

**Douchebag:** Celeste takes the money out of people’s jackets and backpacks left unattended

**Card Demon:** Lies

**Card Demon:** Asahina is in love with Sakura

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** I am not… she’s my friend

**Douchebag:** Real convincing Hina smh

**Psycho Bitch:** I love how everyone is getting exposed

**Psycho Bitch:** Mukuro is afraid of rabbits and Sonic the Hedgehog

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter: **huh?

**Card Demon:** That’s silly she’s supposed to be the ultimate soldier

**YesSir!!:** Do not make fun of other people’s secrets

Innocent Virgin: Taka got a D- on a test once

**YesSir!!:** Makoto WHY

Rich Peasant: Sakura is the one who destroyed the rec room

**HercuWoman:** You have no proof of such accusations

Card Demon: You did that

**Smol Girl: **Guys please stop

**Less Attractive SiS:** I agree everyone has had something horrible said about them let stop now

**Psycho Bitch:** Not everyone Sayaka uses autotune often

**Princess Clueless:** Who told you ahhh

**Princess Clueless:** When Toko showers she doesn’t use soap

**No I’m Not Cold:** T-t-that’s n-n-not true

**[Psycho Bitch changes No I’m not Cold’s name to Soapless Stutter]**

**[Psycho Bitch changes Smol Girl’s name to Yes I’m a Boy]**

**Douchebag:** Ah name changes again

**Soapless Stutter:** c-c-cute *rolls eyes*

**Yes I’m a Boy:** Guys can we please stop now friends shouldn’t do this to each other

**Rich Peasant:** It’s too late for that now

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Yeah let’s just call it a day tomorrow will be very akward

**HercuWoman:** Agreed

**Princess Clueless:** See you in homeroom


	3. Makoto's WHAT?!

**7:30 AM**

**Yes I’m A Boy:** Is everyone gonna be alright today

**Douchebag:** After the shit hit the fan yesterday absolutely not

**Psycho Bitch:** Oh, look who said something smart for once

**[Psycho Bitch changed Douchebag’s name to Observing Douche]**

**Can’t Believe Its not Butter:** Works both ways since he’s a dirty peeper

**Observing Douche:** Who you calling dirty I’m not Toko

**Gloves In The Summer:** Noticing he didn’t object to being a peeper

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** You’re disgusting

**Observing Douchebag:** STFU

**Princess Clueless:** Is Sakura talking to you now

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** No, I can’t face her now

**Observing Douche:** So, you’re hiding from her like Makoto is hiding from Kyoko

**Can’t Shut My Donuthole:** Yes

**[Psycho Bitch changed Can’t Shut My Donuthole’s name to Donut Virgin]**

**Rich Peasant: **Why is it that when someone is hiding from their crush you call them a virgin

**YesSir!:** Having your virginity is very wholesome

**Observing Douche:** No, it’s not

**Rich Peasant**: I do not know why we are talking about virginity right now.

**Rich Peasant:** I’m trying to eat my breakfast

**HercuWoman:** I believe it is safe to assume that everyone here still has theirs

**Psycho Bitch:** Umm…

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** Hmm…

**Less Attractive SiS:** I don’t think you should

**Observing Douche:** I’m gonna have to deny as well

**Donut Virgin:** Liar

**Princess Clueless:** Yeah Leon get the hell out of here

**Psycho Bitch:** I’d believe Makoto wasn’t a virgin before you

**Innocent Virgin:** Who said I was

**Psycho Bitch:** …

**Donut Virgin:** …

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** …

**Observing Douche:** …

**Gloves In The Summer:** Really?

**Innocent Virgin:** You guys don’t know my life

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** Your right hand doesn’t fuckin’ count bro

**Observing Douche:** Or your left

**Psycho Bitch:** We also don’t count pillow girlfriends little Makoto

**HercuWoman:** It’s almost time for homeroom I suggest we adjourn and finish this conversation never

**Observing Douche:** Yeah, we’ll talk later but this convo isn’t finished yet Sakura, sorry

**3 PM**

**Observing Douche:** Now back to Makoto

**Princess Clueless:** Yeah Makoto tell all leave out no details

**Innocent Virgin:** Wait before we get to that has anyone seen Hiro

**Rich Peasant:** Not since Hina attacked him for insulting Sakura

**Psycho Bitch:** Where’d you hide the body Hina

**Donut Virgin:** I’m not telling

**Observing Douche:** Woah Hina you really did it

** Psycho Bitch:** This darkness inside you is kinda sexy

**Innocent Virgin:** Don’t get to attached

**Card Demon:** Remember she’s in love with Sakura

**Donut Virgin:** Stop saying that NOW!!

**Gloves In The Summer:** Sakura

**Gloves In The Summer:** Hey Sakura

**Donut Virgin:** Wh-what are you doing

**Gloves In The Summer:** Telling on you

**Observing Douche**: Ooooh you’re gonna be in trouble

**HercuWoman:** What is the matter

**HercuWoman:** What did Hina do

**Rich Peasant:** She hurt Hiro and no one has seen him sense

**Observing Douche:** More like murdered him

**Psycho Bitch:** Can we please stop with all this sexy murder talk

**HercuWoman:** Hina is that true

**Donut Virgin:** Nope

**Less Attractive SiS:** She’s lying she went after Hiro and we haven’t seen or heard from him since

**HercuWoman:** Hina I think we need to talk

**HercuWoman:** I’m heading to your room

**Observing Douche:** Wow she really is in trouble

**YesSir!!:** Hopefully we will hear from them soon, until then we should sign off

**Psycho Bitch:** Wait what about Makoto’s virginity

**Repulsive Creature:** Let us save that until we have everyone accounted for

**11 PM**

**Psycho Bitch:** I’m getting tired of waiting

**Observing Douche**: Are you alive Hiro

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** All good bro

**Yes I’m A Boy:** What did Hina do to you

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Well after I snuck out the window, I ran but Hina and her athleticism was about to catch me, so I jumped a fence and climbed a tree

**Princess Clueless:** …ok

**Princess Clueless:** That doesn’t explain where you were yesterday and all of today

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Well I lost Hina but when I tried to get down the tree fell and trapped me in a hole

**Dizzy Clairvoyant: **When Hina came looking for me she brought the Ogre and she moved the tree

**Observing Douche:** You just don’t learn your lesson do you

**Gloves In The Summer:** Her name is Sakura and she’s a better friend than you deserve

**Princess Clueless:** True

**Innocent Virgin:** Agreed

**Donut Virgin:** That’s all I’m saying

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Why are you guys against me

**YesSir!!:** It is because Sakura will not defend herself from harmful words

**HercuWoman:** Please do not fight on my account

**HercuWoman:** Everyone just get back to having an enjoyable time

**Psycho Bitch:** Right, back to Makoto’s virginity

**Psycho Bitch:** I need a name, a place, and a time

**Gloves In The Summer:** Don’t leave us in suspense

**Innocent Virgin: **I don’t kiss and tell…well in this instance I don’t sex and tell

**Princess Clueless: **That’s a good policy

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** I think he’s saying that because she doesn’t exist

**Rich Peasant:** Well we cannot prove it either way

**Psycho Bitch:** I’m going to investigate this call me Kyoko part 2

**Gloves In the Summer:** Good Luck Me part 2

**Rich Peasant:** Not that I care but be sure to fil the chat in, so I do not receive a million messages about it

**Observing Douche:** You are so transparent dude

9:30 AM

**HercuWoman:** I have come into some interesting news

**Observing Douche:** News?

**Repulsive Creature:** Nudes?

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Dude what the hell

**Princess Clueless:** You’re disgusting Hifumi

**Donut Virgin:** Who’s nudes…

**Innocent Virgin:** There are no nudes, Hifumi is just being Hifumi

**Psycho Bitch:** Really no nudes

**Psycho Bitch:** Sad Face

**Gloves In The Summer:** Can we get back on topic please

**Gloves In The Summer:** Please continue Sakura

**HercuWoman:** Please forgive me for gossiping but…

**HercuWoman:** I saw Mondo and Taka doing something questionable

**Psycho Bitch:** FUCKING?!?!

**Observing Douche:** She just came out and said it

**Donut Virgin:** I’m sure Sakura would be in therapy instead of talking to us if she saw that Junko

**Repulsive Creature:** Boy on Boy…unsubscribe

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Hey don’t rain on their parade dude

**Gloves In The Summer:** Off subject again

**Gloves In The Summer:** Let Sakura finish, she probably saw something innocent

**HercuWoman:** Not exactly Kyoko

**Psycho Bitch:** So, they were fucking

**HercuWoman:** No, but they were together…

**Innocent Virgin:** Together!?

**Princess Clueless:** What were you peeping in their window

**Princess Clueless:** How did you see them

**Gloves In The Summer:** Based on Sakura’s demeanor she probably saw them in some sort of public area

**Donut Virgin:** WAIT!

**Donut Virgin:** We still don’t know what they were doing

**Rich Peasant:** Not that I care, but please explain the word ‘together’

**HercuWoman:** They were inside of an empty classroom yelling at each other

**HercuWoman:** Then they stopped and got much closer to each other

**Psycho Bitch:** Like kissy kissy close

**HercuWoman:** I confirm

**Yes I’m A Boy:** Wow so they do like each other

**Card Demon:** You know while we are on the subject of…hmmm, what’s the word

**Repulsive Creature:** Boy on Boy nonsense

**Card Demon:** I wouldn’t say nonsense but yes…

**Card Demon:** Chihiro are you straight

**Observing Douche:** OH YEAH

**Observing Douche:** You spent so much time pretending to be a girl do you even like them

**Yes I’m A Boy:** Uhh… I like girls, never even thought about dating guys

**Yes I’m A Boy:** That’s why I hung around the boys so much, I didn’t like hearing about how cute and manly the girls thought all the other guys were

**Princess Clueless:** Makes sense

**Donut Virgin:** Yeah it does

**Gloves In The Summer:** Sorry Chihiro we didn’t but remember we didn’t know

**Yes I’m A Boy:** I’m not blaming you

**Psycho Bitch:** Ok that’s enough of that crap

**Psycho Bitch:** So, Mondo and Taka are gay for each other… Chihiro isn’t gay, Hina’s in love with Sakura and Makoto is a lying dirty virgin

**Donut Virgin:** I told you to stop saying that

**Observing Virgin:** Did you discover something about Makoto, Kyoko Part 2

**Innocent Virgin:** …

**Rich Peasant:** Nothing to say Makoto

**Psycho Bitch:** Oh, he just knows I’m about to expose him

**Gloves In The Summer:** But after our next class, that was the bell


	4. Shunned Hiro

**12:00pm**

**Observing Douche:** ALL RIGHT

**Observing Douche:** I love half days

**Princess Clueless:** Yeah, more time to have fun during the week

**Card Demon:** Ok, Kyoko Part 2 what did you figure out about Makoto

**Soapless Stutter:** Y-y-yeah what d-d-did he lie ab-about

**Donut Virgin:** Does anyone else wonder how Toko stutters in message form too

**Rich Peasant:** I find it better not to question her foolish antics

**Psycho Bitch:** All right children quiet down Mommy’s here

**Repulsive Creature:** H-hi Mommy

**Observing Douche:** Why must you make everything disturbing

**Less Attractive SiS:** It’s in his nature

**Glove’s In The Summer:** May I ask where you’ve been

**Less Attractive SiS:** I was contacted by one of my former colleagues

**Less Attractive SiS: **So, I went to help him

**Psycho Bitch: **How kind of you, you always loved your work

**[Psycho Bitch changed Less Attractive SiS’s name to Military 4 Life]**

**Psycho Bitch: **Now back to the importance Makoto’s lie

**Innocent Virgin:** … I don’t know what you’re talking about

**Psycho Bitch:** I went to Makoto’s elementary, middle, and first high school

**Observing Virgin:** Damn, that’s a lot

**Donut Virgin:** Don’t interrupt

**Psycho Bitch:** Not only was our little Makoto lying turns out… he’s never even kissed a girl

**Psycho Bitch:** Everyone testified to this shy quiet kid who never had the balls to approach a girl

**Observing Douche:** …

**Rich Peasant:** …

**Donut Virgin:** …

**Repulsive Creature:** Sorry to hear of your misfortunes Mr. Naegi

**Observing Douche:** Oh, shut up Hifumi

**Gloves In The Summer:** Yeah if Makoto has never kissed a girl than you probably never touched a girl even in a game of tag

**Military 4 Life:** That’s harsh coming from you

**Psycho Bitch:** Remember she wuvs him

**Rich Peasant:** Please refrain from using cute versions of words, it’s detestable.

**Gloves In The Summer:** I have to agree

**Donut Virgin:** Can we stop making fun of people’s love lives please

**Innocent Virgin:** Yeah, everyone just needs to mind their own business

**Innocent Virgin:** Looking at you Junko

**Psycho Bitch:** Who Moi

**Psycho Bitch:** Don’t act like you’re a saint Makoto I bet if we change the subject to…I don’t know maybe Mondo and Taka I bet you’d want to talk

**Rich Peasant:** Speaking of those two, why haven’t we heard from them yet.

**Rich Peasant:** Surely, they have read the messages.

**Psycho Bitch:** Probably some scared crybabies

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** WHO THE FUCK YOU CALLIN SCARED

**Observing Douche:** Welcome Mondo and your lovely use of caps lock

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** And for your information we did not kiss we just got, uhh really close like face off style

**Gloves In The Summer:** I detect a lie, but I’m staying out of it

**Soapless Stutter:** M-me t-too

**YesSir!!:** I…I was just informing Mondo that it is disgraceful to show up 10 minutes late to class and he yelled at me, but I could not back down from his rebellious nature

**Princess Clueless:** That’s more believable coming from Taka

**Psycho Bitch:** You really are dense aren’t you

[Psycho Bitch changes Princess Clueless’s name to Dense Empress]

**Yes I’m A Boy:** I think we should leave them alone

**Innocent Virgin:** Topic change, Chihiro how’s it going learning how to be a proper boy

**Yes I’m A Boy:** People accepted the fact that I’m a boy but now they look at me like I’m a pathetic weakling

**Yes I’m A Boy:** Not that they’re wrong though

**Psycho Bitch:** Have you considered punching those bastards in the face

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** YEAH, FUCKIN DISMANTLE EM

**Rich Peasant:** For the love of every higher power, will you please disengage your cap lock.

**Dizzy Clairvoyant: **Let Ogre teach you a few moves, you’ll be breaking people in half in no time

**HercuWoman:** It is not my desire to teach someone who’s only objective is to hurt others

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** You tryin’ to tell me you never slugged someone for the hell of it

**HercuWoman:** A strong person never backs down from an opponent, the strongest person knows that not every person is an opponent

**Observing Douche:** Preach

**Gloves In The Summer:** Very insightful Sakura, as expected

**Rich Peasant:** You never fail to meet my expectations

**Psycho Bitch:** Wow that’s the highest praise in Byakuya’s arsenal

**Yes I’m a Boy:** I don’t want to hurt anyone!

**Yes I’m a Boy:** I don’t want to hide from my problems anymore, I just need to get stronger. It’s what I should have done from the beginning instead of pretending to be a girl

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter:** OH YEAH THAT’S MY FUCKIN BRO

**HercuWoman:** It would be an honor to help you then

**Rich Peasant:** I suppose I can teach you to be a high-class gentleman

**Yes I’m a Boy:** That’s so nice thank you!

**Observing Douche:** I’ll teach you how-to pick-up chicks

**Dense Empress:** Who’s gonna teach you

**Observing Douche:** Stay out of this

**Donut Virgin:** And each time you complete 1 section of your training I’ll give you a donut as a reward

**HercuWoman:** I don’t think everyone is as excited about donuts as you Hina

**Donut Virgin:** Don’t worry I know this will work

**Donut Virgin:** Are you pumped Chihiro

**Yes I’m a Boy:** I can’t wait

**Rich Peasant:** Alright chat adjourned.

6 PM

**Yes I’m a Boy:** I need help

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Ogre didn’t hurt did she

**Donut Virgin:** Alright this time I really will kill you

**HercuWoman: **Hina please calm down, I don’t mind

**HercuWoman:** I know how people see me, it has been this way since I was 8

**Rich Peasant:** Please do not pay any attention to this adult fool who is still presently in high school.

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Are we gonna ignore the fact that she said she was a monster at 8

**Gloves In The Summer:** Hiro seriously back off, literally everyone is against you

**Military 4 Life:** Yes, please refrain from assaulting our gentle giant friend with your hateful words

**Can’t Believe Its not Butter: **No real man talks to a woman like that

**Can’t Believe Its not Butter:** YOU FUCKIN HEAR ME

**YesSir!!:** Mondo please swearing is wrong. But I must agree talking to Sakura like that is not acceptable

**Donut Virgin:** I told you to let me kill him

**HercuWoman:** I asked you all to stop, but sadly my request has fallen on deaf ears…I’ll leave to rid anymore existing turmoil

**[HercuWoman has left the chat]**

**Donut Virgin:** Look what you did Hiro

**Rich Peasant:** Once again you have managed to insult Sakura to the point of her taking leave

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Oh, come on you I can’t hurt her no one can…

**Innocent Virgin:** Words hurt more than any physical injuries

**Yes I’m a Boy:** I can attest to that fact

**Repulsive Creature:** I suggest a Hiro ban, until he makes things right with our friendly giant

**Dizzy Clairvoyant:** Again, why are we all against me

**Gloves In The Summer:** Unlike you Sakura has helped all of us in some way

**Psycho Bitch:** I really hate saying this shit but Hifumi is right Hiro ban in progress

**[Psycho Bitch changed Repulsive Creature’s name to Fanfic Loser]**

**YesSir!!:** Proceeding to exclude

**Observing Douche:** safe to say we are all on the same page

**[Rich Peasant removed Dizzy Clairvoyant]**

**Rich Peasant:** Let us adjourn for the day. I propose we all go check on Sakura.

**Gloves In The Summer:** Let’s get going


	5. Chapter 5

**4 PM**

**Psycho Bitch: **I love how traumatized Hiro was at his shunning

**Observing Douche: **Well he deserved it

**Donut Virgin: **That’s all I was trying to point out

**Psycho Bitch: **Sakura left because Hiro was mean like actually trying to hurt someone’s feelings mean

**Observing Douche: **Yeah, the rest of us just use good natured teasing

**Rich Peasant: **I do not know why he insists on making fun of Sakura

**Gloves In The Summer: **Is no one going to talk about how protective Byakuya is so protective of Sakura

**Fanfic Loser:** Could it be you are fascinated in her in a _different_ way Mr. Togami

**Rich Peasant: **Do not be ridiculous, Sakura is a lot like the woman who raised me.

**Card Demon: **You are saying she’s like your mother?

**Gloves In The Summer: **No I believe if he meant his mother he would have said mother. It is most likely point out that he is referring to a nanny.

**Rich Peasant: **Read carefully lowlifes, the Togami family is not all hugs and kisses; we are about business through and through.

**Observing Douche: **Did this man just use a semi colon in a text message

**Can’t Believe Its Not Butter: **YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN US

**Card Demon: **I believe he points that out daily, with no need for prompt

**Rich Peasant: **Stop interrupting.

**Rich Peasant: **I have never had time to play childhood games. My father only talks to me for lessons in running the family and my mother told me not to speak to her until I turned nineteen.

**Observing Douche: **The HELL

**Observing Douche: **Why 19

**Dense Empress: **Why did you type out the word 19

**Rich Peasant: **Mother says eighteen is not actually mature it’s a steppingstone to be an adult.

**Observing Douche: **I have an idea

**Observing Douche: **Since Byakuya doesn’t know how to be a kid let’s teach him

**Dense Empress: **That sounds fun let’s do it

**Fanfic Loser: **Do it… you mean like do it, do it

**Gloves In The Summer: **Disturbing

**Gloves In The Summer:** I can practically hear his loud breathing

**Innocent Virgin: **I agree Kyoko

**Innocent Virgin:** But I think tomorrow on our day off we should spend the day teaching Byakuya how to act like a normal kid

**Psycho Bitch:** Yeah, we’ll teach him how to be a normal bully, and how-to hot wire cars and hold people for ransom

**Observing Douche:** Ummm… we’re not doing any of that

**Military 4 Life:** I almost forgot

**[Military 4 Life added Sakura Ogami]**

**Donut Virgin:** Sakura

**Observing Douche:** Sakura!!

**Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter:** C’MON SAKURA WE MISS YOU

**Psycho Bitch:** God you’re annoying

**[Psycho Bitch changed Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter’s name to Caps is Life]**

**Sakura:** I am here

**Donut Virgin:** Are you feeling better now

**Sakura:** Yes, thank you all for checking up on me last night

**Innocent Virgin:** No problem…we’re taking Togami to learn how to be a kid tomorrow

**Sakura:** I am not sure I can help you with that…besides training I know nothing of fun.

**Caps is Life:** HOLY SHIT, WE’LL TEACH YOU TOO

**YesSir!!:** Mondo language…and yes, it’ll be fun.

**Donut Virgin:** Ah yeah, now I’m pumped up

**Sakura:** If it will make you all happy

**Rich Peasant:** I suppose I will humor you lot since I do not see a sensible way out of this nonsense.

**Psycho Bitch:** Aww, my lovely children

**[Psycho Bitch changed Sweet Muscle Child]**

**[Psycho Bitch changed Rich Peasant’s name to Lonely Rich Child]**

**Military 4 Life: **It’s time to leave for now homework awaits my friends

**Innocent Virgin:** No!!!

**Caps is Life: **YOU CAN’T FUCKIN MAKE ME

**YesSir!!:** Mondo again your language is unacceptable.

**YesSir!!:** And I will help you…no friend of mine will avoid their school responsibilities

**Psycho Bitch:** Oooh, they made a lovers date

**Innocent Virgin:** Time to go

**Gloves In The Summer:** Lets run

**3 AM**

**Observing Douche:** EVERYONE AWAKEN

**Observing Douche:** I can never return home again

**Psycho Bitch:** This better be good

**Fanfic Loser:** You are interrupting certain activities I like to do late night

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Late night activities?

**Psycho Bitch:** NO SAKURA

**Donut Virgin:** He’s talking about something gross

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I’m sorry I asked

**Lonely Rich Child:** This better be good it is three in the morning.

**YesSir!!:** You should not be messaging this late at night

**Dense Empress:** What’s wrong you crybaby so we can go back to sleep

**Observing Douche:** I saw my parents doing the unspeakable

**Innocent Virgin:** …

**Gloves In The Summer:** I’m…I’m sorry to hear of your misfortune

**Caps Is Life:** YOU SAW YOUR PARENTS DOIN THE DIRTY

**Lonely Rich Child:** You actually live with your parents.

**Observing Douche:** Hello, I’m traumatized here

**YesSir!!:** You should be happy that your parents still have love for each other

**Innocent Virgin:** I disagree, if I saw my parents like that, I’d move out of the country

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I would be 1000% percent disturbed if I saw my parents doing that

**Psycho Bitch:** Did they see you

**Observing Douche:** I don’t know they didn’t say anything

**Yes I’m a Boy:** Um…why is Mondo and Taka’s signal coming from the same area

**Psycho Bitch:** ARE YOU SAYING THEY’RE IN THE SAME ROOM

**Lonely Rich Child:** Not you too, calm your cap lock woman.

**YesSir!!:** In the same room… no that’s against regulations.

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I believe he just slipped up

**Observing Douche:** Slipped up how

**Gloves In The Summer:** I think I know what Sakura is referring to

**Gloves In The Summer:** She’s is calling attention to rule 16 section 3, which states that students who are confirmed to be in a relationship are forbidden from being in a living quarters alone.

**Psycho Bitch:** So they are FUCKING

**Caps Is Life:** I ADMIT TO NOTHING

**Innocent Virgin:** Your denial is all we need

**YesSir!!:** Mondo I think we should just come clean

**Caps Is Life:** …

**Caps Is Life:** If that’s what you want

**Observing Douche:** Holy crap he turned off his caps loc he must be having some sort of break down

**Soapless Stutter:** C-can we p-please talk a-about who’s b-boning w-who when t-the sun comes u-up


	6. Are You Feeling Bold Today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait ^_^

**6:30 AM**

**Observing Douche:** Good Morning Everybody

**Lonely Rich Child:** Once again you have sent a message before the sun has come up.

**Lonely Rich Child: **What is it you could possibly want now

**Psycho Bitch:** Look just because you had nightmares about your parents in bed doesn’t mean we weren’t sleeping peacefully

**Yes I’m a Boy: **Morning

**Dense Empress:** Too early…going back to sleep zzzzzz

**Sweet Muscle Child: **Good morning to you as well

**YesSir!!: **I agree… A very good morning to everyone!!

**Psycho Bitch:** So, Taka how was the sex

**YesSir!!:** AAAHHHH…WHAT

**Donut Virgin:** He’s adopted Mondo’s way of texting

**Soapless Stutter:** S-soon h-h-he’ll be a-adopting c-children with M-Mondo

**Caps Is Life:** THE HELL YOU SAYIN

**Observing Douche:** Sex with Mondo is probably mediocre

**Dense Empress:** Probably short too

**Fanfic Loser:** In more ways than one Ms. Maizono

**Caps Is Life:** WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY

**Caps Is Life:** I WILL END YOU

**Psycho Bitch:** You’re one to talk Hifumi, can you even find your dick

**Observing Douche:** OOHHH

**Dense Empress:** Damn!

**Donut Virgin:** Dead

**Innocent Virgin:** You guys are feeling deep this morning huh?

**Observing Douche:** I go deep

**Dense Empress:** Do you now?

**Observing Douche:** Damn Straight!!

**Psycho Bitch:** Your turn Byakuya…

**Rich Lonely Child: **My turn for what.

**Psycho Bitch:** If we’re going to teach you to be a normal teen you must participate in inappropriate completely ridiculous chatter like this

**Dense Empress:** In other words… tell a dick joke

**Rich Lonely Child:** I most certainly will not.

**Observing Douche:** You’ve got this man

**Innocent Virgin:** Yeah C’mon

**Donut Virgin:** It’s not that hard Togami

**Rich Lonely Child:** Everything is hard when it comes to you.

**Innocent Virgin:** …

**Sweet Muscle Child:** …

**Dense Empress:** …

**Donut Virgin:** …

**Rich Lonely Child: **Well did I do it right.

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Is this the part where someone would say ‘that is what she said’

**Psycho Bitch:** HAHAHA… YES!

**Observing Douche:** I’M SO PROUD

**Fanfic Loser:** Looks like the children are growing up

**Gloves In The Summer:** Based on what I’ve read you guys are learning well

**Observing Douche:** But Sakura it’s ‘that’s’ not ‘that is’

**Donut Virgin:** Byakuya you did well but you have to stop being so formal in messages

**Rich Lonely Child:** That is where I draw the line. I will not stoop to your informal basis of speech.

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I think we need to add Hiro back

**Donut Virgin:** What why?

**Observing Douche:** Are you forgettin he was mean to you

**Gloves In The Summer:** Well it has been two days and he seems like he knows what he did was wrong.

**Rich Lonely Child:** Only if he behaves himself.

**[Sweet Muscle Child added Yasuhiro Hagakure]**

**Hiro:** Really, I’m back baby

**[ Psycho Bitch changed Hiro’s name to Thin Ice Dummy]**

**Thin Ice Dummy:** So, what’s been up.

**Donut Virgin:** We are going to teach Sakura and Togami how to be kids

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Wow, it’ll be cool to play like a kid again

**Innocent Virgin:** I always forget he’s older than us

**Dense Empress:** Not important now I’m off to bed no more messages please

**Observing Douche:** Can I come sexy?

**Dense Empress:** If you can get here in 5 minutes

**Observing Douche:** Wait… REALLY?

**Observing Douche:** Hello…

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Uhhh… bro, I would get over there before my 5 minutes is up

**5 PM**

**Lonely Rich Child:** I have to admit I did have a slight bit of fun today.

**Dense Empress:** Only slight… you were laughing and smiling all day

**Caps Is Life:** Not as good a time as you and Leon had this morning probably

**Innocent Virgin:** Yeah, you didn’t say anything about it.

**Dense Empress:** He came over, we kissed like twice and I went to sleep like I said

**Psycho Bitch:** I love how she just admits to it

**Dense Empress:** So, what you guys know I kinda like him

**Donut Virgin:** This is news to me

**Gloves In The Summer:** I agree the way you treat him in messages makes me think you don’t like him

**Psycho Bitch:** She was teasing him in the ‘I’m totally gonna jump your bones kinda way’

**Fanfic Loser:** Today our chats are very interesting

**Gloves In The Summer:** Once again I can just hear him breathing hard

**Donut Virgin:** These messages today have been pretty sexual

**Innocent Virgin:** I agree let’s go back to talking about our day

**Innocent Virgin:** I love how we all teamed up and we still couldn’t beat Sakura in tug of war

**Military 4 Life:** Even when we asked her to only use one hand, we still couldn’t win

**Yes I’m a Boy:** I liked it when the little girls were trying to teach Byakuya how to jump rope

**Lonely Rich Child:** You cannot tell me that people actually think of that as fun it felt like arduous work.

**Military 4 Life:** What about when we played capture Byakuya’s glasses and accidently broke them

**Observing Douche:** Did Sayaka really say she likes me…

**Innocent Virgin:** Will you focus she said that like 10 minutes ago

**Innocent Virgin:** I also think she said KINDA

**Innocent Virgin:** But yeah, Mukuro it was pretty great…especially when he just pulled out another pair like it was nothing

**Gloves In The Summer:** We should go to the pool this weekend, we really seemed to bond today

**Innocent Virgin:** I’M NOT TAKING MY SHIRT OFF

**Psycho Bitch:** Don’t worry Makoto we all know how out of shape you and Hifumi are.

**Fanfic Loser:** Excuse me Miss Enoshima but round is definitely a shape

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I’m afraid I cannot go I have a tournament this weekend

**Donut Virgin:** Sad face

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Well it’s not gonna be all day is it we can watch you at your tournament then hit the pool…which tournament is it anyway?

**Lonely Rich Child:** Yes, I was not aware there was a tournament.

**Sweet Muscle Child:** It’s open dojo day in my clan… my siblings can challenge for the right to be heir…my cousins can challenge for the right for the dojo to switch to their family.

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Other people can come and fail at trying to beat me too.

**Psycho Bitch:** That’s my muscle child

**Military 4 Life:** I think we should all do battle with her as well.

**Dense Empress:** Say what now

**Military 4 Life:** Come on guys we all know she would never hurt us so let’s do it

**YesSir!!:** As long as Sakura promises to take all of our limitations into account.

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I would never try to hurt any of you…so if you want to challenge me please do not hesitate

**Lonely Rich Child:** Fighting, huh? Sounds like an interesting challenge.

**Observing Douche:** Sayaka do you want to go on a date tonight…y’know with me

**Innocent Virgin:** He’s still not paying attention…

**Gloves In The Summer:** Leon goes first

**Dense Empress:** Not tonight Leon…raincheck?

**Observing Douche:** SURE!!

**Caps Is Life:** That was like .2 seconds

**Gloves In The Summer:** It always concerns me when he doesn’t use caps lock

**Lonely Rich Child:** I do not think we have anything else to talk about right?

**Gloves In The Summer:** Correct, see you guys in the morning

**Innocent Virgin:** Going to dinner if anyone wants to join me…hint hint Kyoko…

**Psycho Bitch:** Everyone is getting bold this evening…I love it

**Gloves In The Summer:** I don’t see why not

**Innocent Virgin: **Yes!!


	7. Man Parts?

**Friday 6 PM**

**Thin Ice Dummy:** What’s good everybody

**YesSir!!:** I demand to know why you were not in any classes today

**Innocent Virgin:** You sure are quick to respond when it comes to breaking rules

**YesSir!!:** Rules are the foundation of our society the violation of any rules is simply unforgivable

**YesSir!!:** Now tell me where you were truant

**Th**in Ice Dummy: Relax dude, everyone needs a break sometimes

Glo**ves In The Summer:** You do the least amount of work out of any of our classmates

**Observing Douche:** Yeah you flake on all the work you see as a pain

**Military 4 Life:** You cannot be the one talking

**Innocent Virgin:** Leon, you and Hiro are ranked last in our class

**Observing Douche:** At least I’m not dead last

**Thin Ice Dummy:** At least I don’t have small man parts

**Innocent Virgin:** …

**Military 4 Life:** …

**Gloves In The Summer:** …

**Psycho Bitch:** HAHAHA

**Soapless Stutter: **M-man p-parts

**Observing Douche:** I don’t have small…man parts Sayaka he’s lying

**Card Demon:** He’s defending himself to her and she’s not even messaged in

**Psycho Bitch:** Y’know I can totally see Leon having a small dick

**Soapless Stutter:** You a-are all d-dirty sluts

**Psycho Bitch:** Guilty

**YesSir!!:** I adamantly deny, being a slut seems like a rule violation

**Lonely Rich Child:** Oh, silence yourself. No one hear has forgotten about you and Mondo sharing a room together despite being in a relationship.

**YesSir!!:** But…I…

**Psycho Bitch:** There’s no need to hide it, we understand you need his dick…which is probably bigger than Leon’s

**Observing Douche:** Can we all please stop talking about my dick, do we need to have show and tell so I can prove it to you

**Dense Empress:** Why are we talking about Leon’s dick

**Fanfic Loser:** Because Hiro said that Leon had a itty bitty bite sized one

**Military 4 Life:** I don’t think you’re supposed to bite them…are you?

**Fanfic Loser:** It depends on how kinky you are

**Gloves In The Summer:** Once again the heavy breathing is back

**Observing Douche:** No biting please

**Caps Is Life:** DON’T BE A BABY

**Lonely Rich Child:** It appears as though Mondo likes it rough.

**Caps Is Life:** DAMN STRAIGHT, ANY REAL MAN LIKES TO FEEL IT HARD

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Do I want to know what I just came into

**Donut Virgin:** Not at all Sakura

**Donut Virgin:** I pulled a Celeste today and just watched the messages…they’re being dirty

**Psycho Bitch:** Anyone else have any kinks they want to discuss

**Psycho Bitch:** Cause Mukuro is into bondage

**Military 4 Life:** I am not

**Innocent Virgin:** It looks like Celeste might be into roleplay

**Fanfic Loser:** She can roleplay with me all night

**Gloves In The Summer:** Do I even need to say it again

**Observing Douche:** Humor us

**Gloves In The Summer:** Welcome back heavy breathing, you were not missed

**Donut Virgin:** Who said he ever stopped

**Card Demon:** I’ll get you for that…Mr. I’m Makoto and I often have dirty dreams about Byakuya

**Innocent Virgin:** That’s a lie

**Card Demon:** He was asleep in the classroom after the test and he said “oh yes, Togami”

**Gloves In The Summer:** I can confirm his dirty Togami thoughts

**Psycho Bitch:** There’s no shame in being Bi Makoto

**Innocent Virgin:** Can we go back to teasing Leon for having small man parts

**Observing Douche:** Not cool dude

**Yes I’m a Boy:** Wow a lot of messages…what did I miss

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Apparently, Leon has small man parts, Mondo likes it rough, Mukuro is into bondage, Celeste might be into roleplay, and Makoto has dirty dreams about Byakuya

**Yes I’m a Boy:** None of that is surprising

**Lonely Rich Child:** Why wouldn’t he have dirty dreams about me I am without a doubt the most eligible person here.

**Psycho Bitch:** Let’s put a pin in this until after tomorrow, we need to focus

**Gloves In The Summer:** Indeed

**Observing Douche:** Focus on what?

**Observing Douche:** Hello?

**Observing Douche:** Sayaka can I come over?

**Dense Empress:** I don’t see why not

**Observing Douche:** Yay!!

**Saturday 4:30 AM**

**Caps Is Life:** ALRIGHT, IS EVERYONE READY FOR TODAY

**Observing Douche:** Ready for what man

**YesSir!!:** Today is the day we do battle with Sakura

**Observing Douche:** Excuse me?

**Military 4 Life:** Oh yes, you were not paying attention were you

**Lonely Rich Child:** If memory serves, he was trying to get a date with Sayaka.

**Observing Douche:** We’re going out tomorrow night so I’m totally in there

**Yes I’m A Boy:** In where?

**Psycho Bitch:** Try to survive the date first before you say that

**Dense Empress:** Why so early all the damn time

**Dense Empress:** It’s fucking Saturday let me sleep

**Innocent Virgin:** Did Sayaka just drop an F bomb

**Observing Douche:** Forget that did she curse before Mondo did today

**Lonely Rich Child:** Why can you lower lifeforms never stay on the topic at hand.

**Gloves In The Summer:** Byakuya is right

**Gloves In The Summer: **Leon you’re up first

**Observing Douche:** FIRST!!

**Observing Douche:** Why me

**Card Demon:** It was decided while you weren’t paying attention

**Yes I’m A Boy:** Can I go last please…I’m nowhere near strong enough

**Dense Empress:** One more message and no one has to worry about Sakura because I’ll beat you to a pulp

**Dense Empress:** Now goodnight, chat adjourned

**9:45 AM**

**Psycho Bitch:** I love how Sayaka terrified everyone into silence

**Psycho Bitch:** And no Chihiro you’re up after Leon…I’m not giving you the chance to escape

**Yes I’m A Boy:** What…why?

**Innocent Virgin:** Don’t worry Chihiro, you know Sakura won’t hurt you

**Yes I’m A Boy: **I know it’s just that I’ve always lacked courage and I can’t seem to find where to get it

**[Psycho Bitch changed Yes I’m A Boy’s name to Baby Lion]**

**Dense Empress:** Good morning!

**Innocent Virgin:** She’s happy now

**Gloves In The Summer:** It’s a complete 180 compared to earlier

**Dense Empress: **I get pretty cranky when I’m sleepy…I’m so sorry I threatened you

**Observing Douche:** Don’t worry about it babe, you just caught us all off guard

**Lonely Rich Child:** Do we really have time for this senseless chatter our battle with Sakura is in less than an hour

**Donut Virgin:** Speaking of which we haven’t heard from her today

**Lonely Rich Child:** Sakura is probably focusing on the events of today.

**Observing Douche:** So, uh…what do we wear

**Innocent Virgin:** I’m guessing anything you have free movement in

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Yeah you know a bullet proof vest and all other types of protective stuff

**Baby Lion:** I hope I don’t pass out

**Psycho Bitch:** All I know is I better not break a nail

**Gloves In The Summer:** Everyone calm down and get yourself together…we must prepare for the upcoming battle

**7PM**

**Caps Is Life:** YEAH, I FUCKIN WON 

**Donut Virgin: **What do you mean, we all got our butts kicked

**Dense Empress:** I knew the matches would be fast but not that fast

**Caps Is Life:** What I mean is I lasted the longest

**Caps Is Life:** IN YOUR FUCKIN FACES 

**Observing Douche:** Well I didn’t do the worst that goes to Hiro

**Soapless Stutter:** I-it was f-funny

**Baby Lion:** I can’t believe he passed out

**Lonely Rich Child:** I can, he doesn’t hide his cowardly nature.

**Dense Empress:** He did list a bulletproof vest as part of his safety materials list

**Sweet Muscle Child:** You all did very well

**Observing Douche:** You don’t have to lie to us, we all know we sucked

**Baby Lion:** Yeah, we didn’t stand a chance

**Sweet Muscle Child: **Yes, but you knew that from the beginning, standing in front of an opponent you know you cannot beat is the ultimate test of strength and courage

**Lonely Rich Child:** Wisely spoken.

**Observing Douche:** But Sayaka I thought you cared about me

**Dense Empress:** Whatever do you mean?

**Donut Virgin:** I think he means when you were chanting for Sakura to beat him up

**Dense Empress:** Oh c’mon I did that for everyone…we never get to see Sakura in her element

**Fanfic Loser:** You never get to see me in my element either…

**Observing Douche:** Kyoko?

**Gloves In The Summer:** Yes I’m on it

**Gloves In The Summer:** I can practically hear his heavy breathing

**Innocent Virgin:** Creepy

**Caps Is Life:** Still not tired of hearing it

**Donut Virgin:** So nighttime swimming…?

**Observing Douche:** Yeah that’s still on

**Thin Ice Dummy:** What did I miss

**Observing Douche:** Oh, look who finally made it back to the realm of the living

**Innocent Virgin:** Well, let’s see

**Innocent Virgin:** The fighting order was Leon, Chihiro, You, Sayaka, Kyoko, Me, Mondo, Mukuro, Togami, Hifumi, Junko, Taka, Toko, Aoi, and Celeste went last

**Gloves In The Summer:** Hiro you literally peed your pants and passed out

**Psycho Bitch:** Which is embarrassing because little children fought Sakura without getting scared

**Military 4 Life:** Speaking of which Sakura are you the only female in your family

**Innocent Virgin:** Yeah, you have like 6 brothers and 20 male cousins

**Sweet Muscle Child: **I only have 4 older brothers and 3 younger brothers, and 21 male cousins

**Sweet Muscle Child: **I was the only female born this generation of my family

**Gloves In The Summer:** Those odds seem impossible

**Card Demon:** Not true on a roulette wheel there are an equal number of red and black spaces, yet it is still possible for the outcome to be all red or all black for a long amount of time

**Psycho Bitch:** You guys are boring me so I’m gonna pick on someone

**Gloves In The Summer:** Please don’t we’ll all be at the pool having fun soon

**Psycho Bitch:** Oh fine after the pool… I’m exposing someone

**Donut Virgin:** Pool pool pool pool pool

**Sweet Muscle Child:** You only have to say it once

**Lonely Rich Child:** Let us leave now before everything gets inappropriate again.

**Observing Douche:** Yup let’s go

**Caps Is Life:** YOU GOT IT LITTLE DICK

**Observing Douche:** aaaahhhhh


	8. Chihiro Needs Help With WHAT?

**Sunday 3:50 AM**

**Baby Lion:** Everyone please wake up

**Baby Lion:** Please

**Observing Douche:** Jeez is it this annoying when I text this early

**Psycho Bitch:** Yes

**Caps Is Life:** DAMN STRAIGHT

**Sweet Muscle Child:** What is it that you need Chihiro

**Gloves In The Summer:** Yes how can we be of assistance

**Baby Lion:** If a girl asks you to send nudes what do you do?

**Observing Douche:** …

**Caps Is Life:** SAY WHAT

**Psycho Bitch:** You send her your dick obviously

**Baby Lion:** That doesn’t sound like a good thing to do

**YesSir!!:** Correct young Chihiro, a man should not partake in such disgraceful actions.

**Innocent Virgin:** I actually agree with Junko, you gotta get yourself out there

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Decline respectfully

**Observing Douche**: Don’t be so stuffy Sakura and Makoto, get in there Chihiro

**Donut Virgin:** Why is it that whenever we message before the sun comes up or at night it’s really inappropriate

**Psycho Bitch:** Cause we’re all horny teens even if no one wants to admit it

**Caps Is Life:** I FUCKIN ADMIT IT

**Observing Douche:** Me 2

**Lonely Rich Child:** I will admit to certain tendencies.

**Donut Virgin:** Well I don’t

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I wasn’t finished my advice to Chihiro

**Psycho Bitch:** Apologies continue please

**Caps Is Life:** SHIT SORRY

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Chihiro

**Baby Lion:** Yes, Sakura

**Sweet Muscle Child:** After you decline, tell her to come see it in person

**Donut Virgin:** …

**Baby Lion:** …

**Lonely Rich Child:** …

**Observing Douche:** …

**Caps Is Life:** HOLY SHIT

**Psycho Bitch:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**Psycho Bitch:** I agree with Sakura’s savageness

**Donut Virgin:** Didn’t know you had that in you

**Psycho Bitch:** Uh oh someone’s turned on

**Donut Virgin: **I am not!!!

**Innocent Virgin:** Don’t be embarrassed

**Baby Lion:** Focus please

**Sweet Muscle Child:** My younger brother taught me

**Lonely Rich Child:** How old is this child.

**Sweet Muscle Child:** 12

**Psycho Bitch:** Ah yes, he’s at that age when he’s just starting to be a perv

**Dense Empress:** Really again guys

**Observing Douche:** Sorry Sayaka

**Dense Empress:** I just read the messages up until this point and we’re all a mess

**Innocent Virgin:** We are

**Donut Virgin:** Can we please go back to sleep

**Dense Empress:** Yes, I’m about to start throwing blows

**Dense Empress:** Sweet Dreams

**2 PM**

**Dense Empress:** So, what did you end up doing Chihiro

**Baby Lion:** I did what Sakura’s brother suggested

**Observing Douche:** What did she say

**Caps Is Life:** Yeah little dude, what happened

**Baby Lion:** She said ‘when’

**Innocent Virgin:** Shit, Chihiro actually has game

**Lonely Rich Child:** Makoto Naegi who gave you permission to swear.

**Innocent Virgin:** Sorry, Togami

**Gloves In The Summer:** He’s so compliant, to people he likes

**Psycho Bitch:** So, you’re saying he does it for you too

**Gloves In The Summer:** Yes

**[Psycho Bitch changes Innocent Virgin’s name to Innocent Uke] **

**Innocent Uke:** I resent being called that

**Baby Lion:** If there’s one thing I know you shouldn’t hide who you are

**Baby Lion:** If you’re a bottom own it Makoto  
**Innocent Uke:** No, I’m not!

**Innocent Uke:** Taka’s a bottom

**Psycho Bitch:** We all knew that

**YesSir!!:** I resent that

**7 PM**

**Psycho Bitch:** So Chihiro, did you invite her over to see your dick

**Observing Douche:** Yeah, did you get anywhere with that

**Baby Lion:** I didn’t say anything

**Baby Lion:** I don’t even really know her

**Innocent Uke:** So

**Psycho Bitch:** You gotta steel your nerves and get in there

**Fanfic Loser:** I love the way this chat has been going today, filled with thrills

**Gloves In The Summer:** The creepy breathing is back again to enrich our souls

**Dense Empress:** Scary

**Lonely Rich Child:** If I am not mistaking, you have a date with Leon today.

**Observing Douche:** Hell yeah she does

**Dense Empress:** We’re going out soon, but I have no idea what to wear

**Observing Douche:** Whatever you wear will be fine babe

**Dense Empress:** Aww, that’s sweet

**Dense Empress:** But I’m a pop star I can’t wear anything

**Psycho Bitch:** Bored again

**Psycho Bitch:** Togami has a life size portrait of himself butt naked holding his dick

**Lonely Rich Child:** How do you know these things.

**Psycho Bitch:** Anything to cause despair

**Innocent Uke:** Despair?

**Observing Douche:** She’s probably just joking

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Can we focus on that painting please

**Innocent Uke:** Why do you even have that painting

**Observing Douche:** Makoto wants front row seats

**Caps Is Life:** GAY

**Innocent Uke:** I do not!

**Psycho Bitch:** Mondo you’re gay, Taka’s gay, Hina’s a lesbian, Makoto’s bi, and everyone else is gay until proven otherwise

**YesSir!!:** That’s offensive

**Psycho Bitch:** How so

**Observing Douche:** More importantly how the hell do we prove it

**Psycho Bitch: **Don’t know didn’t think I’d get that far

**Psycho Bitch:** I’ll let you know

**Innocent Uke:** Calm Down Junko

**Psycho Bitch: **Silence Bottom

**Lonely Rich Child:** Good lord, please focus.

**Lonely Rich Child:** I have the portrait because it is a beautiful depiction of me and my family jewels

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I’m kinda scared

**Dense Empress:** Don’t be afraid Sakura, one day you’ll meet and man and his ‘jewels’ will be yours

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I’m not allowed to date

**Psycho Bitch: **What do you mean?

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Until I reach my goal dating is out of the question

**Lonely Rich Child:** Admirable.

**Psycho Bitch:** You’re missing out on a lot… unless it’s Leon

**Observing Douche:** Really again!

**Dense Empress:** Ignore them, are you gonna come and pick me up now or what

**Observing Douche:** Coming

**Baby Lion:** I guess we’re done for today

**7:10 AM**

**Caps Is Life:** DID’YA GET LAID LEON

**Psycho Bitch:** Yeah, tell all

**Observing Douche:** IT WAS AN AWESOME DATE

**Dense Empress:** Can’t complain it was a very nice evening

**Psycho Bitch:** Don’t be dumb I’m talking about sex

**Observing Douche:** It was the FIRST date

**Caps Is Life:** DIRTY VIRGINS

**Fanfic Loser:** Okay we all know you’re banging Mr. Ishimaru

**YesSir!!:** Is there really time to talk about such things before classes

**Baby Lion:** If I was gonna have sex how would I do it

**Cap Is Life:** WHAT THE FUCK

**Observing Douche:** Um… I think we should talk after class

**Innocent Virgin:** Damn Chihiro I didn’t think you would go for it

**Lonely Rich Child:** Makoto!

**Innocent Virgin:** I’m sorry!!

**Sweet Muscle Child:** This is a big step Chihiro

**Psycho Bitch:** I’m not getting in the middle of anyone’s sex…but you just became a boy like last week

**YesSir!!:** Excuse me! Class is fast approaching please hold off on your really appropriate conversation


	10. Got Grades Anybody?

**4:15 PM**

**YesSir!!:** Another fine day of school behind us fellow classmates

**Psycho Bitch:** Sometimes I feel like you’re a mole implanted to make sure everyone stays happy and compliant

**Lonely Rich Child:** It is a believable assumption.

**Observing Douche:** Whoa, hang on we all know that Taka’s a drone

**Observing Douche:** We gotta get back to Chihiro

**Baby Lion:** Yes, I really need some advice

**Gloves In The Summer:** My suggestion is don’t do it

**Gloves In The Summer:** It is not wise to do things you are uncomfortable with

**Psycho Bitch:** Don’t listen to her a little pain and suffering is good for you

**Observing Douche:** What the hell is wrong with you

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I think we should confiscate Chihiro’s phone

**Baby Lion:** I’m sorry, I’ll shut up

**Psycho Bitch:** Oh, clam your ass down

**Psycho Bitch:** If you can’t handle a little verbal abuse, how are you gonna handle a woman in the bedroom

**Observing Douche:** Stop it

**YesSir!!:** Let us take the subject away from Chihiro shall we

**Baby Lion:** Yes, is everyone ready for the end of the semester

**Donut Virgin:** Aww Yeah

**Donut Virgin:** 3 Weeks of pool time

**Soapless Stutter:** Khehahaha

**Soapless Stutter: **Don’t stay in too long or else those ridiculous boobs will get bigger

**Gloves In The Summer:** Are you ok Toko

**Observing Douche:** Yeah, where’s your stutter

**Soapless Stutter:** Never better Khehahaha

**Dense Empress:** Well she’s lost it time to go

**2 AM**

**Gloves In The Summer:** I would like to say something

**Caps Is Life:** WHAT NOW

**Card Demon:** Why is it that we cannot sleep through one night

**Observing Douche:** Let’s get this over with before Sayaka wakes up

**Gloves In The Summer:** I wanted to make sure that everyone was prepared for grades to come out in less than 12 hours

**Caps Is Life:** SHIT, REALLY

**Observing Douche:** Well, I’m dead

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I am concerned

**Gloves In The Summer:** What? You, Sakura?

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I spent a lot of time training and almost no time studying

**Lonely Rich Child:** I think we are all in the same boat then.

**YesSir!!:** Not you too Togami

**Lonely Rich Child:** I am far too busy to be bothered with the likes of schoolwork.

**Dense Empress:** Oh, for the love of balls…again really

**Psycho Bitch:** You love balls?

**Fanfic Loser:** Who’s balls?

**Gloves In The Summer:** No, one answer that

**Gloves In The Summer:** It seems his heavy breathing has returned once more

**Caps Is Life:** HELLO, CRISIS ANYONE

**Dense Empress:** Just have Chihiro break into the system and change the grades

**Observing Douche:** You’re brilliant babe

**YesSir!!:** I am against this idea, it is a clear violation of rules, and it is unfair to those of us who studied hard

**Dense Empress:** I’m gonna be against you living if you don’t shut up

**8 AM**

**Baby Lion:** I love that we get report card day off

**Dense Empress:** That’s just so your parents can beat you silly if you fail

**Observing Douche:** Chihiro want to do your friends a solid

**Baby Lion:** If you’re asking me to break into the system and change your grades the answer is no

**Caps is Life:** WHY THE FUCK NOT

**Observing Douche:** We helped you with your weird sex problem

**Baby Lion:** They’ll kick me out if they catch me again

**Gloves In The Summer:** Again?

**Baby Lion:** I may have rerouted the school cameras and security system, so that me and Hina could make a slip n’ slide in the hallway.

**Baby Lion:** The second time I changed the all answers to the history midterm to b

**Card Demon:** You piece of human garbage I’m in your class you could have told me

**YesSir!!:** Please stop talking about all this academic dishonesty

**Observing Douche:** Are you really coming for us, you sex addict

**Dense Empress:** Sex addict?

**Psycho Bitch:** Yup, Mondo comes to his room every night

**YesSir!!:** There is no proof

**Fanfic Loser:** Stop denying it Mr. Ishimaru we all know the truth of your doings

**Dense Empress:** ‘Doings’

**Gloves In The Summer:** So what are we going to do on our day off guys

**Innocent Uke:** Nice subject change Kyoko

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Waiting to ambush the mailman

**Observing Douche:** Careful Sakura, you’ll never get mail again if you do that

**Card Demon:** Do your parents really care about grades that much

**Sweet Muscle Child:** My dad only cares about my training, but my mom will destroy me if my grades aren’t right

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Couldn’t you just put the smackdown on her

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Everyone thinks my mom is the normal one in my family, she looks like a regular woman…

**Sweet Muscle Child:** But believe me she’s terrifying

**Caps Is Life:** THE REPORT CARDS ARE ONLINE THIS TIME

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Must…Destroy…Computer

**Observing Douche:** Off to cut the Wi-Fi cable

**Caps Is Life:** IT’S TOO LATE FOR ME SAVE YOURSELVES

**Gloves In The Summer:** Am I the only one who realizes that Mondo’s caps lock actually makes sense in this situation

**Psycho Bitch:** You think Mondo has sex in caps lock

**Dense Empress:** The hell?

**Baby Lion:** I’d say yes

**Gloves In The Summer:** Can we please focus on the impending doom on more than half our class

**Dense Empress:** We’ll check in on everyone later

**10 PM**

**Baby Lion:** I’m worried everyone please check in so I can know you survived

**Military 4 Life:** I’m good but Junko is toast

**Gloves In The Summer:** My report card was all A’s

**YesSir!!: **My report card was ‘A’ okay... hahahaha

**Dense Empress:** My C- average is still intact

**Thin Ice Dummy:** I don’t live with my parents anymore

** Baby Lion:** That’s it only 6

**Gloves In The Summer:** That’s not even half

**Dense Empress:** Everyone split up we have to check on them in person

**Dense Empress:** 2 people for each of us

**Gloves In The Summer: **But there’s only 10 people to check on not 12

**Baby Lion:** I see why she has a C- average

**Baby Lion:** I’ll check on Celeste and Toko

**Military 4 Life:** I’ll keep an eye on the Junko situation

**YesSir!!:** I’ll check on Mondo and Hifumi

**Gloves In The Summer:** Please leave Makoto and Togami to me

**Dense Empress:** I’ve got Leon

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Then I guess I have no choice but to check on Hina and Sakura

**Baby Lion:** Good luck guys


	11. What's This About A Hole

**3 AM**

**Baby Lion:** Status report guys

**Gloves In The Summer:** When I went to Makoto's house his parents were standing in front of him arms crossed while they lectured him

**Gloves In The Summer:** While his sister laughed at him

**Military 4 Life:** So much for him being the ultimate lucky student

**YesSir!!:** Good luck has nothing to do with grades. One must work hard to achieve

**Baby Lion:** I'm pretty sure everyone hates you right now

**YesSir!!:** I only speak the truth

**Gloves In The Summer:** Need I remind you that we are supposed to be checking on our classmates

**Military 4 Life:** Well I said earlier that Junko was dead meat, mom and dad are currently taking all of her technology away

**Gloves In The Summer:** From the looks of what i saw from Togami's house he had his staff taken away

**Baby Lion:** So he has to do all of his own work now...he'll never survive

**Dense Empress:** Hurry it up, you guys are taking your sweet time

**Dense Empress:** Leon's dad was throwing things at him, while his mother cried saying she has no son

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Well he was in summer school with me last year so, his parents are probably tired of his BS

**Dense Empress:** I'm giving you guys about ten more minutes of this

**Baby Lion:** I'll make it quick

**Baby Lion:** Celeste was in the middle of a bunch of guys wearing suits who looked kinda scary

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Those sound like Yakuza

**Gloves In The Summer:** Based on her gambling I wouldn't be surprised

**Baby Lion:** Toko got reamed out by her parents and snuck out of her house and started prowling alleys

**Baby Lion:** I was going to follow her but she was doing a weird laugh that scared me

**YesSir!!:** Mondo got into a real screaming match with his dad and went for a ride on his bike

**YesSir!!:** Hifumi was alone in his basement crying about his power being cut off

**Dense Empress:** Jeez their parents are ruthless

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Hina's parents drained the pools inside and outside

**Military 4 Life:** So she's a fish out of water

**Thin Ice Dummy:** And from the looks of it they hired a guy to make sure she doesn't eat donuts

**Thin Ice Dummy:** When I saw Sakura her mom threw her in a hole

**YesSir!!:** In a...hole you say

**Thin Ice Dummy:** I know what I saw

**Dense Empress:** OK we know that everybody got killed by their parents and Toko most likely is going to murder someone

**Dense Empress:** Time for bed everyone shut up

**2 days later**

**Monday**

**7:30 AM**

**Gloves In The Summer:** I'm very bored

**Thin Ice Dummy:** All the good people are on punishment

**Baby Lion:** Poor Hina is probably going through withdrawal

**Dense Empress:** Forget Hina and her donut/pool withdrawal, what about Sakura

**Military 4 Life:** I wonder if Sakura is still in that hole

**YesSir!!:** School is upon us, her mother will let her out for school, since she's mad about her grades

**Glove In The Summer:** So anybody got anything funny or really inappropriate to say?

**Baby Lion:** Nope

**Dense Empress:** So what now

**Military 4 Life:** Um...bye i guess

**10:15 AM**

**Psycho Bitch:** Wassup Bitches

**Baby Lion:** You're back!

**Dense Empress:** Say something inappropriate

**Psycho Bitch:** I'm trying to catch up on all these messages

**Psycho Bitch:** Man you guys are boring

**Military 4 Life:** How did you get your phone back

**Psycho Bitch:** Oh please, do you have any idea how often I get in trouble

**Psycho Bitch:** I have technology hidden everywhere

**Observing Douche:** Did you miss me

**Dense Empress:** I haven't heard from you since Friday are you alright

**Observing Douche:** Well I finally got my parents to calm down with the promise of me having at least 1 A this coming semester

**Donut Virgin:** Can I come to someone's house to eat donuts

**Innocent Virgin:** No can do I'm so grounded I can only use my phone when I'm outside

**Baby Lion:** So no late night pervy convo for you

**Gloves In The Summer:** Sakura isn't here today, is she still in the hole

**Psycho Bitch:** Front or back

**Observing Douche:** ...

**Innocent Virgin:** I...I don't get it

**Donut Virgin:** Huh?

**Fanfic Loser:** This conversation is most entertaining

**Observing Douche:** You know... front or back hole?

**Observing Douche:** Think female humans

**Donut Virgin:** EWWW

**YesSir!!:** I cannot believe you would say such a thing

**Psycho Bitch:** Sooo sorry, I guess you prefer the back hole

**Gloves In The Summer:** We actually missed this?

**Psycho Bitch:** Damn Straight

** [Psycho Bitch changes Gloves In The Summer's name to Detective No Fun]**

**Thin Ice Dummy:** We have 45 minutes anyone up for a jail break

**Observing Douche:** Let's do it

**4:50 PM**

**Sweet Muscle Child:** You all went through a lot just to come and get me...I am thankful

**Thin Ice Dummy:** Please explain the hole

**Sweet Muscle Child:** It is the hole of shame

**Sweet Muscle Child: **When I go home I will most likely be banished to it again

**Observing Douche:** Well, you don't have to thank us for saving you, you're part of our crew

**Psycho Bitch:** Yeah, the sex crazed teens 4

**Fanfic Loser:** 4?

**Innocent Virgin:** What happened to 1-3

**Caps Is Life:** THE ONLY FUCKIN PROBLEM YOU HAVE IS WITH THE NUMBER

**Observing Douche:** Woohoo, the king of caps is back

**Lonely Rich Child:** Honestly, your computer must be broken.

**Dense Empress:** Maybe he's not smart enough to turn it off

**Gloves In The Summer:** Calm down C-

**Caps Is Life:** I'M A STUD, I ONLY TURN ON, NOT OFF

**Donut Virgin:** I am not sex crazed

**YesSir!!:** Neither am I

**Observing Douche:** Whoo, I'm gonna get you a diaper for all that shit your dropping

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I also am not sex crazed

**Lonely Rich Child:** Does anyone know how to order a pizza

**Innocent Virgin:** You eating pizza? Has the world come to an apocalypse 

**Lonely Rich Child:** My parents have taken away everything from me, saying anything less than a B is not Togami material. So as punishment I have to live as a normal kid.

**Observing Douche:** You just call and tell them what you want

**Psycho Bitch:** Yup tell them what you want to put in your hole

**Card Demon:** Say hole one more time Junko

**Psycho Bitch:** Who's holes would you like me to talk about

**Fanfic Loser:** All this talk about holes is starting to get to me

**Innocent Virgin:** If you couldn't hear it before you can definitely hear his heavy breathing now

**Detective No Fun:** Hey you stole my line

**Psycho Bitch:** Careful Makoto or she won't give you any holes 

**Donut Virgin:** AAAHHH

**Military 4 Life:** That's enough Junko

**Psycho Bitch:** Oh, that's it

**Psycho Bitch:** I'm tired of you guys treating me like I don't say exactly what you're thinking

**Lonely Rich Child:** Say what woman?

**Psycho Bitch:** Chihiro!

**Baby Lion:** Huh! Yes?

**Psycho Bitch:** Can you program a watch that monitors all of our sexual thoughts and activities

**Baby Lion:** Oh I see where you're going with this

**Observing Douche:** Let's do it, it'll be fun

**Card Demon:** I refuse

**Psycho Bitch:** Anyone who participates, I'll pay your way on our next ridiculous adventure

**Card Demon:** Done

**Sweet Muscle Child:** I see nothing but bad things in store, but why not

**Lonely Rich Child:** Did you forget who I am

**Caps Is Life:** REMEMBER YOU'RE A BROKE BITCH LIKE THE REST OF US NOW

**Dense Empress:** Can you even afford a bottle of water

**Baby Lion:** Oh everyone calm down

**Baby Lion:** I'll have the watches ready by the start of school tomorrow

**Sweet Muscle Child:** Let us part for today so he can focus

**Observing Douche:** Yup, bye guys


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been a while...Merry Christmas, have a chapter. And yes I do know I'm 4 days late.

6:00 AM

Baby Lion: Ok guys I got the watches done

Observing Douche: I'm excited I hope I know Hifumi will be the most perverted

Fanfic Loser: How do you know that...maybe...um maybe it would uh Sakura

Dense Empress: Why do you guys always start so early

Lonely Rich Child: It's 6AM home room is in an hour and thirty minutes

Observing Douche: Babe likes to sleep until there's only twenty minutes left before class then get ready at hyper speed

Card Demon: Let's just go to Chihiro's room

10:45 am

Observing Douche: Well how was everyone's first day of the new grading period

Dense Empress: This is the only time I get to say I have straight A's

Thin Ice Dummy: It's literally the first day of the grading period and I'm already failing three classes and I'm about to fail the first big test of the grading period...so not good

Detective No Fun: It sucks starting a new grading period when there are impending assignments that will effect it before you even enter it properly

Psycho Bitch: No one cares about that... Chihiro how perverted have our classmates been

Baby Lion: As everyone can guess Hifumi has had the most at 352 and Sakura has had the least a 12

Donut Virgin: How many did I have 

Baby Lion: 180

Donut Virgin: Huh! It hasn't been that many.

Baby Lion: The monitor doesn't lie Hina

Psycho Bitch: Sakura you have get to get your pervy thoughts up

Sweet Muscle Child: I do not have time to think about such things... I must train to get stronger

Psycho Bitch: Awww

Observing Douche: Stop trying to make people stoop to your level

Psycho Bitch: So how are Sayaka's holes

Observing Douche: Don't go there

Psycho Bitch are you trying to say that you haven't experienced them yet or you didn't enjoy them

Innocent Virgin: No holes for Leon

Observing Douche: Shut up Makoto you wouldn't know what to do with holes if you looked it up on wikihow 

Innocent Virgin: Not true I watch porn

Innocent Virgin: I did not just write that

Donut Virgin: Yes...yes you did 

Psycho Bitch: Wow Makoto...so what do you like to watch

Innocent Virgin: Im not having this conversation

Lonely Rich Child:I have no comment about any of this

Baby Lion: Well then why did your pervert thought count go up then Togami

Psycho Bitch: Thinking about Makoto and porn must be sending him into overdrive

Lonely Rich Child: Do not be ridiculous.

Innocent Virgin: Can we just change the subject

Detective No Fun: This is a weird day

Baby Lion: Should I also mention that Kyoko just had a dirty thought too

Psycho Bitch: You guys are dirty whores...I like that

Sweet Muscle Child: I knew this would be a bad idea

Observing Douche: What do you mean this is hilarious

Caps is Life: THIS IS FUCKING WILD

Detective No Fun: How are you just waking up

Caps is Life: I HAD SHIT TO DO LAST NIGHT

Caps is Life: IS THIS REALLY THE SHIT I WAKE UP TO SEE

Military 4 Life: By 'shit' do you mean Ishimaru

Innocent Virgin: ...

Donut Virgin: ...

Observing Douche: ...

Card Demon: I do not think anyone was expecting that level of savageness from Mukuro


	13. Are You Shittin' Me

4:30 AM

Observing Douche: Guys it's an emergency!

Observing Douche: C'mon guys get up NOW!!!

Psycho Bitch: The Hell do you want

Baby Lion: Yes, I was in the middle of this important program that cannot be messed up

Observing Douche: I heard from a source that the school is going to give us an assessment of abilities test

Innocent Virgin: What...what did you just say.

Lonely Rich Child: You better not be spouting lies

Observing Douche: I heard it from the girl with the giant boobs from class 77B

Observing Douche: Apparently 2 weeks ago the 76th class had an assessment and half of them were expelled for failing to improve at their crafts. Class 77B got theirs last week so ours is probably gonna be this week.

Caps Is Life: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTIN' ME

Sweet Muscle Child: I too am highly concerned, it's one thing to prove that we are as good as we were when we were accepted but another thing to show improvement

Psycho Bitch: It will probably be hard for everyone except Hifumi, his gross pervertedness has grown exponentially

Fanfic Loser: I resent that

Observing Douche: But it's true

Innocent Virgin: You probably never went to sleep and spent the whole night touching yourself

Psycho Bitch: ...

Observing Douche: ...

Sweet Muscle Child: ...

Card Demon: What is it with all of these bottoms trying to assert themselves

Military 4 Life: Who are you calling a bottom

Psycho Bitch: Well obviously the bottoms are you, Makoto, Sakura, Taka, Chihiro, and Leon

Observing Douche: Hold the fuck up, I am not a bottom

Psycho Bitch: Oh please, I bet Sayaka leads you around by your balls when your together

Caps is Life: HAHAHAHA

Caps is Life: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTIN' ME 

Psycho Bitch: Why the hell do you keep saying that

Detective no Fun: How did you guys forget the topic on hand right now

Card Demon: Ah yes assessments we should all meet up this evening and practice together until the end of the week

Lonely Rich Child: I have nothing to practice but very well

Dense Empress: You have got to be shittin' me

Innocent Virgin: Am I the only one who finds it alarming that she wrote it in all lower case letters

Baby Lion: Oh no, that is definitely freaky

Observing Douche: What's wrong babe

Dense Empress: Take your ass to sleep Leon 

Dense Empress: The rest of you too. Why do we have to have this conversation every morning

Observing Douche: Ye...ye...yes Sayaka

Psycho Bitch: HAHA... Bottom

Dense Empress: junko

Psycho Bitch: Uhhh...nighty night

4PM

Innocent Virgin: I like how Sayaka scared all of us into silence

Sweet Muscle Child: I just thought of something

Donut Virgin: Yess

Psycho Bitch: She's thirsty to talk to Sakura

Donut Virgin: Ugh...seriously are you shittin' me

Observing Douche: Why is everyone saying that now

Lonely Rich Child: All I know is you better not say it

Detective No Fun: Agreed

Caps Is Life: WHAT'S UP SAKURA

Sweet Muscle Child: Where is Toko

Innocent Virgin: Oh my God, yeah where is she

Donut Virgin: She's been missing for days

Psycho Bitch: That's a easy one

Military 4 Life: What did you do Junko

Psycho Bitch: Nothing, you remember the portrait of Togami holding his dick

Innocent Virgin: Yes???

Thin Ice Dummy: Go on....

Psycho Bitch: She went to go see it and I think she died of an orgasm

Dense Empress: You can't die from a....can you??!?!?

Military 4 Life: That sounds like a beautiful way to die

Observing Douche: Are you shittin' me right now, you really think so

Donut Virgin: There are worse ways to go

Sweet Muscle Child: Really?

Psycho Bitch: Have you ever had one?

Sweet Muscle Child: Um....

Observing Douche: Yes

Innocent Virgin: Of Course 

Card Demon: She's not talking to the boys, its wayyyy to easy for you guys

Dense Empress: Nope, not at all

Observing Douche: Want me to give you one

Donut Virgin: ...

Innocent Virgin: ....

Detective No Fun: WOW

Caps Is Life: HAHAHA

Caps Is Life: ARE YOU SHITTIN' ME, THAT WAS NICE DUDE

Fanfic Loser: I agree, good one Mr. Kuwata

Dense Empress: If you think your man enough

Innocent Virgin: Uhh...

Psycho Bitch: Holy Mother of SHIT

Lonely Rich Child: Sayaka, I would prepare myself cause he's currently running across the quad ti get to your room

Dense Empress: Bye guys

Innocent Virgin: Umm, guys can we take a break for the day

Card Demon: Where did this bullshit conversation come from

Psycho Bitch: Shhh...Sayaka and Leon are about to get laid

Sweet Muscle Child: So rain check on the group training

Detective No Fun: Yes, tomorrow


	14. WHO'S in the Picture

2:30 AM

Psycho Bitch: Everyone awaken I have news

Fanfic Loser: Nudes

Psycho Bitch: You couldn't handle my nudes

Baby Lion: Didn't we already do this before

Psycho Bitch: Once a creepy pervert, always a creepy pervert

Fanfic Loser: Who says I want to see yours ugly

Psycho Bitch: Say What!!! I am not ugly

Fanfic Loser: Let's see those nudes then send them through the chat 

Baby Lion: No don't do it 

Fanfic Loser: If you want to prove it, send them

Baby Lion: Where is everyone else

Psycho Bitch: Sending them

Baby Lion: NOOO!!

[Psycho Bitch uploaded a picture]

Card Demon: Thats a penis

Donut Virgin: Oh my god ewww

Psycho Bitch: Let's play Who Does That Penis Belong To

Psycho Bitch: Hint it belongs to someone in our class

Innocent Virgin: How did you get that picture anyway

Dense Empress: I'm concerned to know the answer

Military 4 Life: How was the sex

Dense Empress: Adequate 

Detective No Fun: I'm surprised 

Dense Empress: Why, it was actually good

Detective No Fun: No I meant that you know what the word adequate means

Psycho Bitch: Where is Leon anyway

Observing Douche: I'm right here

Observing Douche: Can we get back to the subject here, who's dick is that

Sweet Muscle Child: This seems inappropriate even for this group

Card Demon: It's obviously not Hifumi's

Baby Lion: ...

Donut Virgin: Well we know it's not Togami's

Lonely Rich Child: Yes, mine is more regal looking. It is the stuff of pedigree

Observing Douche: It's not Makoto's

Innocent Virgin: What are you trying to say Leon

Observing Douche: I just sent you something...check your phone

Innocent Virgin: How'd you get that!

Observing Douche: You sent it to me by accident a while ago

Innocent Virgin: I'm going to bed

Dense Empress: Yes, everyone bedtime, I think you know what will happen if you wake me

8:45 PM

Observing Douche: That was like the most intense training I've had a really tough time keeping up 

Lonely Rich Child: Sakura truly is the best at making training programs.

Dense Empress: Yeah, I can't believe she made me run 2 miles

Sweet Muscle Child: You said you wanted to add dancing to your performances to do that you need stamina 

Psycho Bitch: At least she didn't make you pose for 500 pictures in two hours

Baby Lion: She made me code 1600 lines

Innocent Virgin: Don't we still have to find out who's dick is in that picture

Observing Douche: Oh Yeah

Donut Virgin: Someone just come forward and say it's theirs

Lonely Rich Child: The Only other people left over are Mondo and Taka

Caps Is Life: DOESN'T BELONG TO US

Baby Lion: It's mine ok

Donut Virgin: ...

Observing Douche: ...

Lonely Rich Child: ...

Sweet Muscle Child: Yours?

Psycho Bitch: Ding Ding Ding 

Psycho Bitch: Correct, that lovely piece of man part belongs to Chihiro

Detective No Fun: I'm actually kind of proud

Caps Is Life: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU HIDE THAT IN A SKIRT

Dense Empress: I have to agree, that thing is monstrous

Baby Lion: Please stop talking about it

[Psycho Bitch changed Baby Lion's name to Daddy Lion]

Military 4 Life: I'm done with Junko

Donut Virgin: I'm leaving for the night bye

Daddy Lion: Yeah, good night guys. I'm officially done for today

Observing Douche: You got that right


	15. Mouth Pleasing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I go back to school soon...someone please save me, please. Also enjoy.

3:15 AM

Caps is Life: EVERYONE GET YOUR ASSES UP

Psycho Bitch: I guess that excludes Taka cause around you his ass is always up

Observing Douche: Damn woman you don't waste anytime do you

Psycho Bitch: I can't help it my mouth moves before I can think not to say it...but we all know I'm gonna say it anyway

Dense Empress: Junko just stick to that other thing your mouth is good at

Sweet Muscle Child: Do I want to know what she means by that

Donut Virgin: No...no you don't 

Daddy Lion: I thinks she's um talking about...um mouth pleasing

Sweet Muscle Child: Mouth....pleasing?

Lonely Rich Child: The wit of this conversation has already disappeared and we haven't even made it to sunrise.

Fanfic Loser: I doubt that Junko would be good at mouth stuff, she seems like she's all talk

Psycho Bitch: Don't you talk about my mouth takes a lot

Observing Douche: I can't believe she just said that

Military 4 Life: I can

Sweet Muscle Child: So what did you want to say Mondo

Caps Is Life: THEY POSTED THE RESULTS OF OUR TEST

Observing Douche: Holy Hell

Daddy Lion: I passed

Military 4 Life: Me 2

Sweet Muscle Child: I passed as well

Fanfic Loser: I also passed, the same way people pass on being with Junko

Innocent Virgin: Hifumi that's mean

Psycho Bitch: Oh please you have a face and body you couldn't even pat a prostitute to go near

Card Demon: I'm all for insulting each other but can you guys wait until the sun comes up

Caps Is Life: WIAT HOW THE HELL DID YOU GUYS EVEN GET ON MOUTH STUFF

Donut Virgin: Because Hifumi and Junko always make fun of each other in inappropriate ways

Psycho Bitch: Go away Hina and get back to looking at your pictures of boobs

Donut Virgin: I...I don't have any

Innocent Virgin: Liar!

Innocent Virgin: One time I was in her room and she has a box full of half naked lady pics

Donut Virgin: Well Makoto has a picture of Togami and Kyoko that he kisses goodnight everyday

Psycho Bitch: Every time I think that you guys don't have anymore secrets someone gets exposed

YesSir!!: You guys need to stop texting so early all the time enough rest is important for a student

Observing Douche: You have a lot of judgements for someone that likes to have sex every night

YesSir!!: That...that's not true

Psycho Bitch: Liar Mondo gives you the dick every night and you love it

YesSir!!: ...

Observing Douche: I see you've gone silent 

Caps Is Life: DON'T GO TEAMING UP ON HIM

Sweet Muscle Child: Can we please get back to the subject 

Dense Empress: Right mouth pleasing 

Lonely Rich Child: I believe she was talking about the test

Psycho Bitch: Makoto you ever mouth please anyone 

Innocent Virgin: NO!!

Lonely Rich Child: Would you like too

Sweet Muscle Child: ...

Dense Empress: ...

Donut Virgin: ...

Detective No Fun: WoW

Innocent Virgin: Maybe 

Lonely Rich Child: *__*

Psycho Bitch: Makoto you broke him, he just used an emoji

Detective No Fun: Well you better get over there Makoto 

innocent Virgin: Togami open the door

Psycho Bitch: Holy crap, I knew it

Dense Empress: Knew what?

Observing Douche: That Kyoko and Togami are sharing Makoto

Psycho Bitch: Yup that's my Observing Douche

Sweet Muscle Child: Are they really sharing him

Detective No Fun: I'm not going to deny it

Dense Empress: Let's all go back to sleep now


	16. Getting Exposed Again?!

11 AM

Observing Douche: So how is everyone doing this grading period

Caps is Life: ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS

Observing Douche: Yeah I'm serious, these two months flew by we only have 3 week left in this semester

Caps Is Life: I'm fuckin dead again

Detective No Fun: He's not using caps

YesSir!!: Don't worry Mondo you still have time

Psycho Bitch: Good Job Taka

Psycho Bitch: Look after your baby daddy

YesSir!!: BABY DADDY??!

Fanfic Loser: Otherwise known as what Junko will never have

Innocent Virgin: Must you guys always do this

Psycho Bitch: Must you always have threesomes with Kyoko and Togami

Innocent Virgin: Don't aim at me, while Sakura is secretly dating someone

Donut Virgin: HUH?!

Psycho Bitch: Looks like you missed you chance Hina

Lonely Rich Child: Sakura you come here immediately 

Sweet Muscle Child: Is there a problem

Observing Douche: How come you didn't tell us you were dating someone

Sweet Muscle Child: I'm not sure what you mean...

Donut Virgin: Don't lie to me

Sweet Muscle Child: ...Hina?

Sweet Muscle Child: Why are you focusing on me when Toko is literally out on a murdering spree

Donut Virgin: Why didn't you tell me, I'm supposed to be your best...er what did you just type

Caps Is Life: KILLING SPREE...TOKO

Card Demon: What did you see Sakura

Sweet Muscle Child: I saw her walking down an ally with scissors, the same scissors that Genocide Jack uses. I couldn't bare to watch what she was going to do so I walked away

Lonely Rich Child: I tried to tell you guys all along she was unstable

Observing Douche: She's our friend crazy murderer or not 

Daddy Lion: Right I'll start looking for her immediately tracing her phone and all of her internet access

Psycho Bitch: So back to grades who's going to help me get it together

Fanfic Loser: No one will help you because you have itty bitty titties 

Psycho Bitch: Say WHAT!!! I'll have you know that mine are normal

Psycho Bitch: What about Sayaka, she wears that bow so you can't see how small they are.

Dense Empress: How did this become my fight 

Dense Empress: Hifumi is an exclusive member of a club of guys that dress up like anime girls and do weird things to each other

Observing Douche: What kind of weird things

Fanfic Loser: SHE'S LYING

Card Demon: I can see that

Psycho Bitch: We can all see that

Fanfic Loser: Mondo used to date this older guy who he was definitely a bottom for

Caps Is Life: THE FUCK YOU SAY BITCH

Sweet Muscle Child: I think we need to stop outing people

Observing Douche: Yes back to the end of the semester

YesSir!!: Mondo is that true

Psycho Bitch: C'mon let's see this blow up

Innocent Virgin Shut ups Junko, Taka you should talk to Mondo in private

YesSir!!: Mondo be a man and say it! Stop hiding it

Caps Is Life: I AIN'T HIDING SHIT

Caps Is Life: Yeah it's true

Observing Douche: HE STOPPED USING CAPS TWICE IN ONE DAY

YesSir!!: ....

Caps Is Life: Taka...

Daddy Lion: Should we adjourn for the day?

Dense Empress: I'll say yes

Lonely Rich Child: Bye 


	17. Guess Who's Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank all of you for 1,000 hits. It really means a lot that you guys have stuck with me this long. I started this story as a small project but didn't expect all this. Anyway I'll shut up, here's to many more chapters. ^__^

4:45 AM

Soapless Stutter: Khehahaha I heard you missed me

Observing Douche: Where have you been you've missed like a month of classes

Donut Virgin: Yeah, Sakura said you were out murdering people

Soapless Stutter: Quiet, Boobs of Destruction

Donut Virgin: B-boobs of Destruction, what's that supposed to mean

Fanfic Loser: I believe you are very aware Ms. Asahina

Detective No Fun: Huzzah his heavy breathing has returned

Innocent Virgin: Huzzah?

Soapless Virgin: I only killed like 4 people

Daddy Lion: ONLY

Caps Is Life: HEY, ALL CAPS IS MY THING

Soapless Virgin: This month

Fanfic Loser: That's kind of hot

Lonely Rich Child: Can we focus on the murdering please.

Soapless Stutter: Anything for you master

Innocent Virgin: Mine!

Soapless Stutter: OOOOHHHHH, YAY 

Soapless Stutter: Master is dirty, Jill likes

Donut Virgin: Who's Jill

Soapless Stutter: Quiet BoobZilla

Donut Virgin: W-what is it with you and my chest

Fanfic Loser: I think you know 

Sweet Muscle Child: This needs to stop, Hina is uncomfortable 

Donut Virgin: Thank you Sakura

Soapless Stutter: This is getting to my lower parts

Fanfic Loser: L-LOWER PARTS!!!

Soapless Stutter: I mentioned my naughty bits shame on me KHEHAHAHA

Lonely Rich Child: Toko you will stop this foolishness right now, come back to school and stop this disreputable behavior.

Soapless Stutter: Anything for you master 

Observing Douche: So we're just gonna accept the fact that she's a crazy murderer

Detective No Fun: Yes, like it or not she's one of us

Donut Virgin: I think we should turn her in

Sweet Muscle Child: She is our friend we cannot turn our backs on her

Soapless Stutter: OOOH, Girl on Girl so lovely

Donut Virgin: Say what?

Observing Douche: Wait a minute 

Thin Ice Dummy: Yeah bro?

Donut Virgin: Ok an everyone stop ghost watching the chat

Observing Douche: Where's Junko?

Psycho Bitch: Speak my name and I shall appear

Psycho Bitch: What's up Bitches

Dense Empress: You usually rule the chat but you weren't here

Psycho Bitch: I was working on my next project, it's going to blow your mind

Sweet Muscle Child: Why did you have to ask

Psycho Bitch: If you must know, I'm making a list of boys dick sizes in our class

Sweet Muscle Child: What is your obsession with... man...parts

Psycho Bitch: Sakura you have a boyfriend, you shouldn't be afraid of dick

Donut Virgin: Back off, Junko

Soapless: Looks like Wonder Tits thinks she's all that

Psycho Bitch: Classic

[Psycho Bitch changes Soapless Stutters name to Unclean Mischief]

Unclean Mischief: I take showers Toko doesn't 

Observing Douche: Why speak in third person

Lonely Rich Child: She has Dissociative Identity Disorder, So Genocide Jack...um Jill isn't really Toko

Psycho Bitch: I'm bored, so Mondo did Taka forgive you yet

Caps Is Life: ...

Caps Is Life: He's still not speaking to me

Unclean Mischief: KHAAA, he's not using caps lock

Observing Douche: Also his phone goes straight to voicemail he does not want to talk to any of us

Psycho Bitch: Don't worry Mondo we'll get someone to blow you later

Caps Is Life: GOD SHUT IT, ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU AND I'LL RUN YOU OVER WITH MY BIKE...I loved him

Donut Virgin: Don't worry we'll help you

Fanfic Loser: Don't worry Mr. Oowada, we will assist you, and it it makes you feel any better no-one will blow Ms. Enoshima

Innocent Virgin: Hahaha

Sweet Muscle Child: Blowing?

Donut Virgin: *exasperated sigh* they're talking about mouth pleasing again

Sweet Muscle Child: Perish the thought

Psycho Bitch: Sakura again, you have a boyfriend just ask him to blow you

Donut Virgin: THAT'S ENOUGH JUNKO

Lonely Rich Child: Yes, leave Sakura alone.

Dense Empress: We're talking about getting Mondo and Taka back together...which we will resume when the sun comes up

Innocent Virgin: Back to my sandwich

Observing Douche: You're eating at 5 in the morning

Psycho Bitch: I think he means he's sandwiched in between Kyoko and Togami

Dense Empress: I SAID GOODNIGHT 


	18. Wait He Beat Her!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I don't talk to you guys enough, so from now on I'll try to leave a short message at the beginning of a chapter. Please enjoy my randomness.

9:00 AM

Donut Virgin: Guys I've been thinking

Lonely Rich Child: Guess there's a first time for everything.

Innocent Virgin: Ignore him, what are you thinking about

Donut Virgin: A way to get Mondo and Taka back together

Caps Is Life: I'm listening

Fanfic Loser: GAH, he's not using caps again

Observing Douche: Haven't we already discussed that he doesn't use it if the conversation is important to him

Lonely Rich Child: I'm taking you all to the doctor to get diagnosed with ADHD. Stay on topic please!

Sweet Muscle Child: What did you think of Hina

Donut Virgin: First we need to get Taka, the only way to do that is with someone we all trust

Psycho Bitch: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's not Mr. Can't find his dick, the Murderer, or yours truly 

Thin Ice Dummy: Right, the only people we all trust are Makoto and Chihiro

Detective no Fun: Don't forget about Sakura, she's very trustworthy too

Donut Virgin: Right, we send Sakura

Donut Virgin: Because let's be honest Sakura is the only one we would all open the door for

Psycho Bitch: So we send Sakura to knock his door down and forcibly drag him out of his room

Observing Douche: Umm. That's gonna be a hard no since that's a crime

Fanfic Loser: Did someone say hard?

Psycho Bitch: Yeah, you know the thing you don't get Dickless

Fanfic Loser: If you keep playing games Ms. Enoshima I'm going to have to show you proof

Detective no Fun: Please don't no one wants to see that

Caps Is Life: CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK ON THE FUCKING TOPIC BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL

Unclean Mischief: Y-y-you d-don't know a-anything about k-killing

Innocent Virgin: I guess she's back to Toko again

Observing Douche: Ok, so Sakura goes to get Taka...then?

Donut Virgin: Everyone minus Mondo talks to Taka and we convince him to talk to Mondo

Donut Virgin: Then the rest is in your hands Mondo

Caps Is Life: HELL YEAH, YOU GUY'S BETTER NOT BLOW IT

Psycho Bitch: You forgot about the most important thing Hina

Donut Virgin: Huh? What?

Psycho Bitch: Then Mondo has to bottom for Taka

Innocent Virgin: ...

Observing Douche: ...

Dense Empress: We were all thinking it you didn't have to say it

Psycho Bitch: But I had too it's the only way to make you despair 

7:00 PM

Observing Douche: I can't believe it actually worked

Lonely Rich Child: It did not.

Detective no Fun: Unfortunately, Togami is right all we did was get Taka to agree to speak with Mondo

Donut Virgin: What happens next is a mystery

Sweet Muscle Child: You did well Hina

Daddy Lion: Uh..Hina

Thin Ice Dummy: Hello, Hina

Psycho Bitch: Being praised by Sakura has knocked her unconscious 

Detective No Fun: Well if this works I think we should do something special for Hina

Daddy Lion: Agreed 

Sweet Muscle Child: Yes, I have something in mind that I require your help with

Psycho Bitch: Okey Dokey, we can do that

Card Demon: Yes if anyone knows what Hina likes it's Sakura

Psycho Bitch: I just remembered something

Observing Douche: What now woman

Fanfic Loser: And he means woman in the loosest sense

Psycho Bitch: Chihiro, Togami, Mondo, Hiro, Taka, Makoto, Leon, Hifumi

Dense Empress: Say what?

Sweet Muscle Child: What's this...a list

Observing Douche: Oh no you didn't 

Psycho Bitch: Oh yes I did!

Lonely Rich Child: It cannot be accurate, can it?

Psycho Bitch: You bet your ass it's accurate, to the one's at the top of the list congrats, to the one's at the bottom sucks to be you

Military 4 Life: When Junko makes a list it's always accurate

Observing Douche: There's no way I'm that far down the list

Dense Empress: ...

Observing Douche: What's wrong Sayaka

Dense Empress: ...

Lonely Rich Child: I believe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

Observing Douche: Oh...ok

Dense Empress: Wait Leon

Detective No Fun: He's gone you hit him right in his pride

Psycho Bitch: He's at the damn bottom of the list he has no pride

Sweet Muscle Child: I thought Hifumi was at the bottom

Psycho Bitch: He doesn't count he's pathetic

Innocent Virgin: I'm pretty low on the list too but I'm fine with it

Military 4 Life: Junko why are you like this

Psycho Bitch: You know why 

Fanfic Loser: Ms. Enoshima got breast implants

Daddy Lion: But she's in high school...she can't do that can she?

Innocent Virgin: I think we all know now that Junko can do things that no high school student can do

Fanfic Loser: I see you've gone silent

Card Demon: Did he...did he just get the last word on Junko 

Lonely Rich Child: He has sent her into 'despair' as she likes to say

Fanfic Loser: AHHHH, someone help!! She's here

Card Demon: Oh, that's why she went silent. She went to beat the crap out of him

Military 4 Life: Sakura please...

Sweet Muscle Child: I'm already on my way


	19. Pool Party?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So school has officially started for me...I'm gonna try to update as much as possible. Someone save me...please.

1:30 AM

YesSir!: I just feel as though I should thank you all for your help

Donut Virgin: So you're saying you guys worked it out

Observing Douche: Yeah are you guys all lovey dovey again 

Caps is Life: DAMN RIGHT WE ARE

Dense Empress: Good you guys should be happy

Psycho Bitch: What's all this kissy kissy, touchy feely bullshit

Lonely Rich Child: You certainly know how to ruin a mood

Fanfic Loser: That's why there's never any men around her

Innocent Virgin: Don't start again you two

Psycho Bitch: No, I have something to tell everyone here

Sweet Muscle Child: If it's bad please refrain from saying it

Thin Ice Dummy: Yeah seriously dude don't

Psycho Bitch: Before Hifumi came here he had absolutely no friends because everywhere he went he brought a life size pillow of an anime character with him

Observing Douche: ...

Sweet Muscle Child: ...

Card Demon: ...

Sweet Muscle Child: I'm not judging you or anything it's just...a little concerning

Dense Empress: A LITTLE?!

Fanfic Loser: I didn't bring it around to be creepy, I brought it to show everyone how superior I was in my collecting capabilities

Innocent Virgin: You know that actually makes sense coming from him

Sweet Muscle Child: We should all get to sleep something important is going to happen in the morning

Observing Douche: Yup 

Donut Virgin: What's going on tomorrow?

Lonely Rich Child: Just come to school tomorrow, do you understand?

Donut Virgin: Um...yes?

Sweet Muscle Child: It will be alright Hina

5 PM

Donut Virgin: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS DID THAT!!

Observing Douche: LOL

Observing Douche: You deserved it

Psycho Bitch: Is anyone else going to note how weird it was that he typed 'lol'

Card Demon: I thought that as well

Observing Douche: What's wrong with that

Sweet Muscle Child: It is my experience that people who writer that are not laughing at all

Detective No Fun:: It stands to reason that the person who wrote it did laugh but without anyone to see it they did not physically express it

Thin Ice Dummy: Back to the topic guys, did you have fun Hina

Donut Virgin: Yes! How the heck did you guys turn the pool into a water park overnight

Innocent Virgin: When Sakura said we should get to bed, she really meant we have to get started on the preparations 

Lonely Rich Child: I did not help I just paid for everything 

Daddy Lion: Waterslide!!

Military 4 Life: I enjoyed the slip n slide into the pool

Donut Virgin: But what about the rope swing!

Sweet Muscle Child: I am really glad you enjoyed it Hina

Donut Virgin: Thanks so much Sakura, and all the rest of you

Innocent Virgin: You really don't need to thank us

YesSir!!: Yes, you did something truly wonderful

Caps is Life: FUCK YEAH YOU DID

Observing Douche: Everything is all back to normal Mondo's caps lock has soothed the chat

Psycho Bitch: I hate it when you guys get all happy on me

Thin Ice Dummy: Yeah you guys have got to get it together

Thin Ice Dummy: I like totally saw Hifumi and Celeste on a date

Innocent Virgin: ...

Observing Douche: Say what now

Card Demon: ...

Fanfic Loser: ...

Psycho Bitch: Ain't that a bitch

Psycho Bitch: Who the hell told you to say that, you can only say things like that when it will make their skin crawl with despair...

Psycho Bitch: I will kill you

Innocent Virgin: Sakura!!

Sweet Muscle Child: On it


	20. P-Lords and V-Queens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in overload mode...but please enjoy.

5:30 AM

Psycho Bitch: Good Morning Penis Lords and Vagina Queens

Observing Douche: ...Penis Lords?

Fanfic Loser: V-vagina Q-queens

Detective no Fun: Ah yes it has truly been a while

Innocent Virgin: Go ahead, say it

Detective no Fun: Welcome back Hifumi's hard breathing

Psycho Bitch: Hard breathing because he's a perv or because he couldn't make it up the stairs

Sweet Muscle Child: Here we go again

Fanfic Loser: Don't worry Ms. Ogami I will not stoop to her level this morning

Psycho Bitch: Is it because you won't be able to get up again

Fanfic Loser: Ms. Enoshima I would like to tell you to go fornicate yourself, because no one else will

Lonely Rich Child: Why is it that you people can not behave for one day.

Thin Ice Dummy: Hey Sakura ca you lift a truck

Observing Douche: Dude...a truck?

Psycho Bitch: I kinda want the answer to be yes

Innocent Virgin: Yeah!! I want to see her pick it up and toss it 

Detective no Fun: Sakura...is it possible

Sweet Muscle Child: I have never actually tried...

Sweet Muscle Child: I mean stopping a moving car is different from picking it up

Lonely Rich Child: Are you actually entertaining the thought of doing such a thing.

Donut Virgin: Well Sakura is the worlds strongest human it should be Childs play to her

Observing Douche: Hold the hell up did she say stopping a moving car is different

Innocent Virgin: You stood in front of a car and let it hit you

Sweet Muscle Child: When I was 9 the car beat me 2 years later I defeated the car

Fanfic Loser: You know in anime when the characters are on fire with determination...I feel like Ms. Ogami is on fire right now

Observing Douche: Togami can you get us a truck 

Lonely Rich Child: If it will make you leave me alone.

Thin Ice Dummy: Brah is lying he wants to see it too

Innocent Virgin: Wait what about Celeste and Hifumi dating

Card Demon: It is a lie as if I would ever

Fanfic Loser: She isn't 2D not interested

Observing Douche: Nothing to say Junko

Psycho Bitch: Nope, remember I told you it's not time for that particular line of despair, I'll bring it up when it's time

Innocent Virgin: Can we please go back to this Penis Lord thing please

Observing Douche: Junko what's up with your head

Donut Virgin: NO!! Do not bring it back up

Sweet Muscle Child: I have to agree 

Thin Ice Dummy: Rest up Sakura, we need to see you throw that truck

Sweet Muscle Child: You really think it's possible

Detective no Fun: Sakura you hit a tennis ball so hard in gym class that went through the metal plating on the wall and ended up in the school

Observing Douche: Let's not forget the time she grabbed the door knob and smushed it

Military 4 Life: Forget that what about the time she pulled the door off it's hinges

Sweet Muscle Child: Apologies...when I'm not focusing I can accidentally put too much strength into things

Innocent Virgin: Don't apologize or feel bad, it's hilarious

Donut Virgin: I'm particularly fond of the time something rolled under the teachers desk and she pick the whole desk up to get it

Dense Empress: Alright everyone back to bed...Sakura if anyone sends another message make sure they're in the truck when you throw it


	21. Challenges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A question do you guys like cupcakes more or donuts? Or you can break my heart and not answer that's fine too. Either way, I'll still love you guys.

3:45 AM

Observing Douche: Man Sakura, I can't believe you actually did it

Lonely Rich Child: Such immense power, you truly are worthy of the title worlds strongest person.

Sweet Muscle Child: Thank you I trained very hard to get this far

Psycho Bitch: Let's have a battle royal

Detective no Fun: Please think before you type...remember she already defeated all of us easily

Dense Empress: Yes, did you not see her toss that truck like it was a donut

Donut Virgin: WHAAAA

Donut Virgin: Why would anyone toss a donut

Psycho Bitch: I meant all of us at the same time vs. her

Innocent Virgin: It wouldn't matter

Daddy Lion: I'm gonna have to agree with Junko, yes it's true that Sakura is insanely strong but if we make a plan we could come out victorious

Sweet Muscle Child: Bring it on if you dare

Fanfic Loser: I feel like she's on fire again

Caps Is Life: LET'S DO IT

YesSir!!: I feel if we are going to do this we have to give it our all 

Lonely Rich Child: Fine, I will revise a strategy that will play to each of our strengths.

Observing Douche: And what makes you an expert

Lonely Rich Child: Part of my literal existence is putting people in the right position so I can conquer empires.

Thin Ice Dummy: ....Dude, empires

Lonely Rich Child: I didn't expect you to understand

Donut Virgin: I'll help you, no one knows Sakura better than I do

Sweet Muscle Child: Care to make it interesting Hina

Donut Virgin: Always Sakura

Sweet Muscle Child: Than the usual it is

Donut Virgin: ALRIGHT, I'M GETTING PUMPED UP

Psycho Bitch: Why is it sexual

Innocent Virgin: Junko I challenge you to not be inappropriate, because I know you can't do it

Psycho Bitch: Hell yeah I can, name your terms

Innocent Virgin: No cursing, nothing sexual, and no arguing with Hifumi

Psycho Bitch: What does arguing with lard ass have to do with anything

Innocent Virgin: Because your arguments are always inappropriate

Psycho Bitch: Fine I accept, however Makoto I have a challenge for you too

Innocent Virgin: And that is 

Psycho Bitch: No more sandwiches 

Innocent Virgin: Not cool, but I can do it better than you can

YesSir!!: This is so good spirited, challenging each others weaknesses to become stronger I wish I had one

Card Demon: Ok I challenge you to stop having dirty sex with Mondo every night

YesSir!!: Um...OK, I can do this 

YesSir!!: In return I challenge you to be truthful all the time

Card Demon: Very well

Daddy Lion: I'll make a band that can monitor her truthfulness 

Lonely Rich Child: Are you children done with your senseless prattle.

Thin Ice Dummy: Togami I challenge you to be nice to all of us

Lonely Rich Child: Not going to happen.

Observing Douche: Looks like someones scared.

Lonely Rich Child: Leon I challenge you to grow bigger genitals.

Observing Douche: ....

Donut Virgin: ...

Sweet Muscle Child: ...

Psycho Bitch: HAHHAHABAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Psycho Bitch: Holy Shit, that was gold coming from you Togami

Dense Empress: That was mean...but Togami get into the spirit of it

Lonely Rich Child: If I must.

Card Demon: Now, you have to give Leon a challenge that's actually possible

Lonely Rich Child: Very well, I challenge you to tell us a secret every time someone says your name.

Observing Douche: Well, I guess I can handle that. You didn't say it had to be deep secrets

Daddy Lion: So does everyone who wants a challenge have one?

Caps Is Life: I'M NOT DOIN THIS DUMB SHIT.

Daddy Lion: Then I shall make a contract.

Daddy: Sakura and Hina have a challenge riding on our upcoming battle, Makoto challenged Junko to be appropriate so she told him no more Togami and Kyoko sandwiches, Celeste challenged Taka to stop having dirty sex with Mondo so he told her to tell the truth all the time. Lastly Togami was challenged by Leon to be nice to all of us, on return he wants Leon to tell a secret every time someone says his name.

Detective no Fun: Alright type your names as agreements

Sweet Muscle Child: Sakura

Donut Virgin: Hina

Lonely Rich Child: Byakuya 

Card Demon: Celeste 

YesSir!!: Taka

Observing Douche: Leon

Psycho Bitch: GOD DAMN, SON OF A DONKEY BITCH

Donut Virgin: AHHHH, What's wrong

Sweet Muscle Child: Yes that was quite the string of curses even for you

Psycho Bitch: I was just clearing my system

[Psycho Bitch changed their name to Lady Despair]

Lady Despair: Junko

Fanfic Loser: Is that a euphemism for your woman parts

Lady Despair: Don't you know when your being ignored

Detective no Fun: Very good Junko

Fanfic Loser: The rest of us will act as judges to make sure you guys keep your challenges

Lady Despair: Quick someone call Makoto the 'B' word

Observing Douche: Makoto you bitch

Lady Despair:Thank you. Makoto you have to agree or I will come to your house and strangle you

Innocent Virgin: Fine...I almost got away with it too. *looks pointedly at readers*

Innocent Virgin: Makoto

Dense Empress: Alright everyone dismissed

Observing Douche: Wait what readers... you mean us?

Dense Empress: I said dismissed


	22. Chapter 22

4:30 PM

Observing Douche: All hail Sakura the strongest person in the world

Daddy Lion: It's actually ridiculous how quickly she beat us.

Fanfic Loser: Leon

Observing Douche: I'm still afraid of the dark

Innocent Virgin: Damn really

Caps Is Life: YOU FUCKIN' BABY

Lonely Rich Child: It is not kind to mock our friends.

Donut Virgin: It's creepy seeing Togami type that

Detective no Fun: I think we all knew that Sakura would destroy us

Fanfic Loser: Leon

Observing Douche: During thunder storms I sleep in the bed with my parents

Lady Despair: What in the world

Fanfic Loser: Which is what people say when they see you naked

Lady Despair: You know Hifumi weight loss would improve your overall appearance and make you a less drab human being

Innocent Virgin: Did she just insult him

Daddy Lion: Nope, I think that just counts as advice

Caps is Life: LEON

Observing Douche: Sometimes when I'm on the bathroom I look at myself naked in the mirror

Innocent Virgin: Once again damn

Detective no Fun: I mean Junko technically didn't argue with him or insult him so she's still in the clear

Card Demon: Leon

Observing Douche: I hate going to the bathroom

Lady Despair: Celeste who do you think the cutest boy is

Card Demon: Togami

Daddy Lion: She's telling the truth

Innocent Virgin: MINE

Fanfic Loser: Leon

Observing Douche: In second grade I peed on my teacher

Sweet Muscle Child: I caught a wrecking ball today

Innocent Virgin: Wait so what happens to the person who breaks first

Lady Despair: They have to do a punishment that we all decide upon

Dense Empress: Hold up! Wait a minute...we have some things to talk about here

Donut Virgin: Like what

Dense Empress: Leon peeing on his teacher 

Observing Douche: I put my dick in a vacuum cleaner hose to see what it would feel like

Sweet Muscle Child: ....

Dense Empress: ...

Innocent Virgin: ...

Detective no Fun: I think we also need to discuss Sakura saying she caught a wrecking ball today

Innocent Virgin: Leon why did you pee on your teacher

Observing Douche: I never got any valentines 

Observing Douche: It wasn't on purpose, I got stuck in my pants and she was trying to help me...she didn't get out of the way in time

Caps Is Life: HAHAHAHAHA

Card Demon: That is what you get for trying to help people

Fanfic Loser: Leon

Observing Douche: *sigh* I was in remedial classes in my old school

Lady Despair: Celeste would you kill us for money

Card Demon: Depends on how much

Daddy Lion: ....She's telling the truth

YesSir!: I'm gonna choose to ignore that

Fanfic Loser: Me 2

Donut Virgin: Sakura how did you catch a wrecking ball

Sweet Muscle Child: I was not paying attention and wandered onto a construction site

Lonely Rich Child:I would tell you to be more careful but I know you do not need that kind of advice.

Fanfic Loser: Leon

Observing Douche: I pick all the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms

Lady Despair: You sick son of a bitch

Dense Empress: I knew Junko would break first

Innocent Virgin: Can you blame her, Leon just admitted to a serious dick move

Daddy Lion: So now everyone is free of their contract since Junko broke first

[Lady Despair changed their name to Psycho Bitch]

Psycho Bitch: Man it feels fuckin' good to be myself again

Dense Empress: Before we leave for the day there's one last thing we need to discuss

Lonely Rich Child: Which is?

Dense Empress: What was Sakura and Hina's bet about

Sweet Muscle Child: Hina has to watch me destroy perfectly good donuts

Daddy Lion: That sounds horrifying

Donut Virgin: If Sakura loses she has to go on a date with me

Psycho Bitch: Hmmm, boring 

Psycho Bitch: Think on this topic for next time... Leon has done dirty sex things with a man

Dense Empress: ...

Sweet Muscle Child: ...

Innocent Virgin: ...

Daddy Lion: Tine to go

Fanfic Loser: Yup


	23. Who's a Bitch Child?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make this chapter a little deep... with my random as crap thoughts floating around. Hope you enjoy.

5:30 AM

Psycho Bitch: Makoto you son of a bitch

Observing Douche: That's one hell of a way to wake everyone

Psycho Bitch: Get up bitch child

Innocent Virgin: Yes...

YesSir!!: This is much too early for all of this swearing

Psycho Bitch: 3 days ago when we made those challenges where the hell did you sleep the night of

Innocent Virgin: ...In my room

Psycho Bitch: You lying bitch

Daddy Lion: She's right, I saw you and Kiyoko coming out of Togami's room on the night in question

Lonely Rich Child: Chihiro you bitch child

Observing Douche: Is bitch child the word of the day

Caps is Life: YEAH, BITCH...CHILD

Detective no Fun: No, Togami Junko is right it's dishonest for us to cover for him

Lonely Rich Child: Fine, it's true, the bitch child lost before the bet even really started

Innocent Virgin: Can we all agree to stop calling me bitch child

Psycho Bitch: Nope 

Observing Douche: Nah

Donut Virgin: Man, you guys always start early 

Psycho Bitch: Hey Makoto you still a virgin

Innocent Virgin: Say what now

Thin Ice Dummy: You heard her Bitch Child

Psycho Bitch: I need know if your name is in need of a change

Psycho Bitch: Also your punishment is working out with Sakura for the month

Innocent Virgin: THE MONTH!!

Caps is Life: CAPS LOCK BELONGS TO ME BITCH CHILD

Innocent Virgin: The. next person that calls me Bitch Child is gonna regret it

Observing Douche: Oh calm down Bitch Child

Innocent Virgin: Leon's cheating on Sayaka

Psycho Bitch: ....Bitch Child

Psycho Bitch: What have you done

Dense Empress: He's...what

Observing Douche: Sayaka...I can explain

[Dense Empress has left the group]

Observing Douche: Sayaka 

Detective No Fun: Did you not see the message that said she left

Innocent Virgin: Leon...

Observing Douche: Shut up Bitch Child, I'm gonna kill you

[Observing Douche left the group]

Donut Virgin: SAKURA...SAKURA, please help

Sweet Muscle Child: What's going on

Thin Ice Dummy: No time Bitch Child needs your protection

Sweet Muscle Child: Excuse me?

Psycho Bitch: Ah yes you missed the lovely Bitch Child conversation

Donut Virgin: Makoto needs help

Sweet Muscle Child: I'm on my way to the Bitch Child

Donut Virgin: Sakura!

Sweet Muscle Child: Sorry, I thought it would be fun

Psycho Bitch: Was it?

Sweet Muscle Child: ...Yes

Psycho Bitch: When are you guys gonna learn I'm the only one who can give secrets without destroying people's life

Innocent Virgin: I didn't think...AHHHH

Donut Virgin: HURRY SAKURA


	24. Who Cares What Time It Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special day after chapter for making it to 1500+ hits. Thanks so much.  
Also do you think Sayaka should for give Leon for cheating? 
> 
> As always I won't make you answer...I'll just cry myself to sleep if you don't, I'll still love you guys though ^_^.  
If ten people answer today I'll upload again tomorrow. Promise!

2:37 PM

[Psycho Bitch changes Innocent Virgins name to Lord Big Mouth]

Psycho Bitch: Gather my nuisances 

Lord Big Mouth: Yes?

Caps is Life: WHAT

YesSir!: You called

Donut Virgin: Yes Junko?

Fanfic Loser: I agree with Mr. Oowada...what!

Caps Is Life: IF YOU'RE GONNA QOUTE ME YOU BETTER USE ALL CAPS BITCH

Fanfic Loser: AAAHHHHH

Caps is Life: That's better

Daddy Lion: Why is the time so specific

Donut Virgin: I have to admit it is a little weird that the first message was sent at 2:37 of all times

Caps is Life: YOUR BITCH ASS COULDN'T WAIT TILL **2:40**

Lord Big Mouth: Why did you bold 2:40

Detective no Fun: My guess is because you cannot capitalize a number

Psycho Bitch: Why are you dumbasses focusing on the time

YesSir!: Studies have shown that some people severely dislike any number that is not a multiple of 5 

Caps Is Life: MY DICK IS A MULTIPLE OF 5

Donut Virgin: HUH!!!

Psycho Bitch: So your dick is only 5 cms

Fanfic Loser: Or is it 5 mm

Caps is Life: OH YOU BITCHES GOT JOKES

Lord Big Mouth: Did you guys just make fun of him together

Psycho Bitch: You know what say dicks bring people together and apart

Detective no Fun: I see what you did there.

Lonely Rich Child: I'm tired of you people and your inane humor.

Fanfic Loser: Are you upset because your dick isn't doing anything Mr. Togami

Lonely Rich Child: You can barely make it up the stairs I shutter to think of your sexual stamina

Psycho Bitch: He's probably one of those guys that arrives early

Sweet Muscle Child: Arrives?

Donut Virgin: Sakura, please don't ask

YesSir!: Please, everyone calm down and behave 

Psycho Bitch: So how are we going to fix Makoto's blunder

Donut Virgin: I have an idea

Card Demon: That's good, she fixed Mondo and Taka

Lord Big Mouth: What do we do?

Military 4 Life: I think you should sit this one out Makoto 

Daddy Lion: No, matter what Makoto you shouldn't say anything until we've talked to Leon

Lord Big Mouth: Ok 

Psycho Bitch: Bye Bitch Boy

Fanfic Loser: Why didn't you just make that his name?

Psycho Bitch: Cause I'm not his mother...though maybe I could hack the government records to have his name changed to Bitch Boy

Fanfic Loser: ...

Donut Virgin: ...Pretty sure he meant Makoto's chat name...

Psycho Bitch: Oh...damn, you're right 

Psycho Bitch: That was a missed opportunity

Sweet Muscle Child: Please focus, Hina what's the plan

Donut Virgin: First we add Leon again and get him to tell us what happened

[Psycho Bitch Added Leon]

Leon: What is it...I don't feel like talking to you guys

Psycho Bitch: first of all Makoto is going to apologize to you next as punishment for opening he's going to have a full on battle with Sakura until he's unconscious to make it up

Donut Virgin: Just apologize to her

Leon: Already tried that

Daddy Lion: Keep saying it, until she acknowledges you 

Psycho Bitch: Or till she nut punches you

[Psycho Bitch added Sayaka]

Leon: Sayaka 

Sayaka: Leon I will literally cut off your ding ding

Sweet Muscle Child: Sorry...ding ding?

Lonely Rich Child: His family jewels.

Donut Virgin: Yuck

Leon: I'm sorry Sayaka...really

Sayaka: I don't care Leon

Psycho Bitch: I also assure you that I'll have Togami take Makoto across his knee

Leon: Come outside Sayaka 

Sayaka: I have a pair of Toko's scissors 

Military 4 life: Everyone except Junko deserves a second chance

Donut Virgin: Junko?

Psycho Bitch: Yeah, I'm the moist bitch that can't be trusted

Sweet Muscle Child: Moist?

Lonely Rich Child: I have no idea what she's trying to connote.

Donut Virgin: I don't want to know what she meant but it's not important

Donut Virgin: Haven't you ever done something you regret Sayaka...Leon's sorry

Sayaka: Fine...I'm not saying I'll forgive you but we can talk about it

Leon: Yay 

Sweet Muscle Child: I'm sorry, I'm stuck on that moist thing...

Donut Virgin: Sakura NO!!


	25. Who's Yo MAMA?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long...I've missed you guys. Enjoy the chapter. ^_^

1:09 AM

Psycho Bitch: Come to Mama, my babies

Leon: What the hell?

Caps is Life: YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTIN' ME

Donut Virgin: AAAH, what's wrong?

Caps is Life: SHE DID THAT DUMB SHIT WITH THE TIME AGAIN

Psycho Bitch: Calm down, Mondo...Mama loves you

Caps is Life: .... t-thank you?

Leon: Did-did he just thank her?

Daddy Lion: He's so shocked he stopped using caps lock and even stuttered

Psycho Bitch: I almost forgot

[Psycho Bitch changed Leon's name to Observing Douche and Sayaka's name to Dense Empress]

Observing Douche: So are we not gonna talk about this mama thing

Psycho Bitch: It's _Mama _with a capitol 'M'

Psycho Bitch: I will not tolerate disrespect from my children

Donut Virgin: So....Junko's on drugs?

Lonely Rich Child: I feel that is the case.

Psycho Bitch: Silence my sweet babies

Lord Big Mouth: This chat is weird and we haven't even made it to sunrise

Detective No Fun: Is that really a surprise to you

Sweet Muscle Child: Does she really think we're her babies

Psycho Bitch: Yes, my sweet muscle baby

Fanfic Loser: Really? This is what we're doing now

Psycho Bitch: Silence step child

Daddy Lion: I somehow knew she wouldn't claim him

Detective No Fun: Have you ever known her to be nice to him

Sweet Muscle Child: Can we continue this during school hours I have an early morning

Psycho Bitch: I'm so sorry muscle baby I will adjourn for the time being....you got a hot work out date with your boyfriend

Sweet Muscle Child: I don't know what you mean

Donut Virgin: Don't tease Sakura!

Psycho Bitch: Mama apologizes she will never want to upset her babies

Observing Douche: Are we going to talk about how she keeps slipping into third person

Donut Virgin: Let's just go to sleep everyone

10:04 PM

Psycho Bitch: So Leon Sayaka have you guys made up

Dense Empress: He's on a three day trial to make it up to me

Psycho Bitch: Damn girl you didn't even give him the whole week

Dense Empress: He doesn't deserve 3 days

Sweet Muscle Child: I agree, cheating is dishonorable 

Caps is Life: AHHH, STOP DOING THAT

Dense Empress: Huh?

Psycho Bitch: What?

Daddy Lion: I believe he means the time 

Psycho Bitch: Mama's sorry my sweet boy

Caps is Life: o-ok

Lord Big Mouth: And you've broken Mondo again

Observing Douche: How was the date Sakura

Sweet Muscle Child: I was not on a date, I was pushing my dojo closer to the pond in my backyard 

Psycho Bitch: ...

Daddy Lion: ...

Donut Virgin: ...

Observing Douche: ...

Caps is Life: ...

Lord Big Mouth: Please tell me that was a joke

Fanfic Loser: Yes Ms. Ogami I hate to tell you this but because of indoor plumbing you won't be able to move your dojo

Sweet Muscle Child: It's does not have indoor plumbing it's just a dojo to fight in

Observing Douche: Did it work?

Sweet Muscle Child: Of course it did

Psycho Bitch: Mama's so proud of her big strong baby

Lonely Rich Child: That is impressive

YesSir!: You know what is impressive, how none of you came to my study session for finals

Psycho Bitch: Was that yesterday?

Dense Empress: I had a rehearsal 

Lonely Rich Child: I did not want to go.

YesSir!: Well I hope you're ready for the end of term

Caps is Life: WE HAVE LIKE 3 WEEKS

YesSir!: Try like three days

Caps is Life: ...

Dense Empress: Tell me that was a joke

YesSir!: Check your calendars my friends

Lord Big Mouth: NOOOO!

Caps is Life: YOU GOT ONE MORE TIME TO STEAL MY THING BITCH

Psycho Bitch: Please my dear babies, Mama doesn't want to see you fight

Observing Douche: I'm just going to fake a illness so they give me extra time

Donut Virgin: What illness

Observing Douche: Menopause

Donut Virgin: ...

Psycho Bitch: Well good luck with that son

Fanfic Loser: Yes, good luck Mr. Kuwata

Dense Empress: Goodnight everyone

Sweet Muscle Child: Good night

Donut Virgin: Study party at my place tomorrow, Leon I assume you're not coming

Observing Douche: Nope I'm covered with my illness

Caps is Life: BWAHAHAHA, SLEEP WELL GUYS

Psycho Bitch: Mama loves all her babies, I'll see you in the morning


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something short for now. I might bring this back. Maybe, if you guys want.

3:45 AM

Observing Douche: Alright you pieces of shit, wake your asses up!

Donut Virgin: AAHHH, so many curse words!

Lord Big Mouth: You yelled?

Psycho Bitch: Yes, my dear son

YesSir!: Why are you summoning us exams are in a few hours

Observing Douche: You assholes knew that only women could go through menopause, didn't you!

Caps is Life: OF COURSE WE DID DUMBASS, WHY DO YOU THINK WE WERE LAUGHING AT YOU

Lonely Rich Child: How about instead of yelling at us you do some last minute studying

Dense Empress: Yeah, you've still got time to not completely bomb the exams

Observing Douche: You're right Sayaka 

Psycho Bitch: Or you could just have Sakura knock you out for a couple of days

Observing Douche: Hmmm...

Donut Virgin: Is he actually considering it

Lonely Rich Child: I certainly hope so, I'd love to see that.

Sweet Muscle Child: You should never try to take the easy way out

Observing Douche: So you'd be willing to go back into the hole?

Sweet Muscle Child: ..........

Sweet Muscle Child: Let me know if you want me to do it

Donut Virgin: Sakura!

Sweet Muscle Child: I refuse to go back into that hole. I'm going to make a run for it.

Lonely Rich Child: I have to agree, I refuse to live like a peasant again. Sakura I'll come with you.

Psycho Bitch: Look what you've done Leon, you've made them hysteric

Fanfic Loser: I'm not getting my 2D sweethearts taken away again!

Psycho Bitch: I know...it's hard when no real person will ever love you

Fanfic Loser: Spoken like a woman who will never be touched by a man

Psycho Bitch: Oh please you'll be lucky if some girl brushes up against you one day by accident

Fanfic Loser: At least my body isn't disproportionate

Psycho Bitch: What are you talking about, you look like a damn radish

YesSir!: That is enough! We have important things to talk about.

Dense Empress: Look I want to go back to sleep, study or not, run away or stay....but shut the hell up!


End file.
